Eat a dick, Philly.
The birds are beginning to chirp again, the trees are looking to blossom and that wonderful game of baseball is back in full swing. Last year, the biggest name in American sports won their 27th world title, and now it’s looking like they are well on their way to their 28th. That’s right bitches, the Yankees.
One thing that I find funny, is that the whole country hates the Yankees with a passion. It’s like this- you are either a Yankee fan or you hate the Yankees more than anything. That’s fine with me, but you should find other things to hate on… like the Phillies.
The Yankees have helped make baseball go from its 2 billion a year business to its current almost 7 billion dollars in revenue. In that time, the Yankees have made themselves one of the most recognizable logos in the world and have turned themselves into a multi-billion dollar empire.
When the Yankees hit the road and visit other teams, the huge turnout by displaced Yankee fans is enormous. It helps tourism in these cities and helps with attendance in these ball parks. It’s always a site to see when there are more Yankee fans in Toronto than Blue Jay fans.
So why all the hate? The Yankees are good for baseball and good for baseball owners. Unless, you are in the top ten of payroll baseball teams, you welcome the Yankees coming to your town because it helps sell tickets and food.
I think the main reason people hate the Yankees is because a good chunk of Yankees fans are overzealous dirtbags. You don’t hate the team because they win, you hate the team because a friend of yours just won’t shut the hell up when they do.
It’s ok Pittsburgh Pirate fans, one day they will end that crappy organization and you can just resort to the Steelers for the entire year.
October is my favorite month thanks to Halloween, the World Series, and Football. But this time of the year also brings about a class of individual that I really could do without- The Fake Sports Fan.
These people always seem to stumble out of their cells about now, especially during the baseball playoffs, and every given Sunday. They want to be social, they want to feel a part of something. That’s nice. Speaking for the general sport loving public… please STAY HOME!
F you POSERS!!!
These people are very easy to pick out and I absolutely loathe them. The first indicator is a fresh hat. If the hat looks like it was just picked up that afternoon most likely you are dealing with a fair-weather. They also never know things that, to me, are very basic rules of the game. For example, the second out occurs and this person thinks it’s the end of the inning. They think Mark Teixeira’s first name is Monk, that a web gem is the diamond Spider Man gave to Mary Jane, and they never know what’s going on! You ask the guy what just happened, and it follows as “The guy hit it and the other guy caught it.” Thanks, you should replace John Kruk on Baseball Tonight.
Another issue I have… just because you are from a particular area does not make you a fan of that team. I have seen this numerous times, especially people from Boston. I’ll watch a Yankee and Sox game and some guy will be cheering for the Sox simply because he is from Boston. He has no idea who is on the team but he is clapping along anyway like an idiot. I know the Red Sox line up very well and when you cannot name three players on the team you are clapping for… you are not a fan!
Keepin' it real Bitches!!
The greatest examples of the fake fan are celebrities. Now there are a few exceptions to the rule, well, actually only two: Jack Nicholson and Spike Lee. Those two are as die-hard as they come. Spike Lee was ready to fight Reggie Miller and Jack Nicholson refused to wear a Red Sox hat while filming The Departed. The rest can please stay in their mansions- with their fresh hats, brand new jerseys that still have the official merchandise tags, while sipping on some Mimosas from the downstairs bar. These people are the holy grail of the fair weather fan.
Just once I want to see a bat fly into the stands and force some movie or show to be re-cast.
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