When his Facebook status had not been updated in over 24 hours... Brad's friends began to worry.

I have a Facebook page and that’s it. I check it about 2-3 times a day, mostly to see if I received any comments on any of the funny status updates that I posted earlier in the day. However, I have increasingly started to notice that with our internet connection now readily available on our phones… people are now more and more addicted to whatever “status” they need to update.

I bring this up because last night my girlfriend and I were having dinner at this great little sushi place, and the couple sitting next to our table were both texting furiously away on their i-phones. You could see that both of them were clearly on their Facebook/Twitter accounts… probably updating that they were out having sushi. There used to be a time that using the phone at the dinner table was rude behavior. Now if you’re not updating your status between bites you are losing out in the “status update race of life.”

If you are going to update constantly then give us some funny, amusing, interesting piece of information. “Hey, Erin and I are out at a sushi place and they don’t have burgers. What gives?” I say give people something to read that will make them scratch their head and say, “WTF?” Or DON’T BOTHER.

Kiss my ass @twitter. LOLZ!!

Also, stop sending me invites to events I don’t want to go to. That movie quiz was retarded. Never send me a quiz ever again. I am actually thinking about starting a Twitter account just to make fun of it. The other day I was walking into the mall and on the outside of the door there was a sign that says, “Follow us on Twitter.” Why the fu*k would I ever want to follow a mall on Twitter?

Does the mall update their status as well?

“Just had two cars stolen from my parking lot, LOL”

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Forty years ago, two computer techs from UCLA and Stanford came up with an idea of sending information from two computers. One tech wrote the letters, L, then O, and then G. The other tech received the first two letters and the system crashed on the G attempt. This was the first ever instant message and, thus, the Internet was born.  So now, let’s talk about the 5 awesome things about the Internet.

Cable Modem

5. Cable modem. Remember dial up? Some of you do… some of you don’t. The younger ones probably have no idea what the hell I’m talking about, which is making me feel old.

All you young ones that get pissy at a page taking 10 seconds to load you don’t know how good you have it.

You spoiled brats!

Porn

4. Porn. This one is easy because buying and viewing porn used to be a dirty thing. Now it’s commonplace AND FREE!! It almost seems that if you are not looking at porn on the Internet… then what the hell are you doing on the net to begin with… Doing work? Reading for information? Shopping online? Banking? Submitting for scholarships? Taking an online college course?

Yeah…

What a waste of the technology.

YouTube

3. YouTube. There was once a time when stupid kids who pretended to have a Jedi duel with themselves where only viewable if you were the unfortunate parent to walk in on them playing in the bedroom. Not anymore.

Also- what would this crazy little world be like without Youtube losers to mock and make fun of?

Now we all get to enjoy the crazy people of this world thanks to this amazing website.

See the last two after the jump Read more »

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SUV Driver Gone Mad (Fail Blog)

I Dare You (Bragster)

Funny People On Twitter (Easy LOL)

Hilarious (List Of The Day)

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Hatin On The Players (Player Haters Ball)

I Hate You Twitter!!! (Terminally Incoherent)

Gorilla With Saxophone Skills (Eat Liver)

Fear The Fuzzy!!!! (I Can Has Cheezeburger)

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