What hole am I on?

For those of you that didn’t hear or didn’t care, Tiger Woods had a press release announcement this morning.  Some may argue that he was sincere in his speech.  Some will say they don’t care.  Regardless of your view point, Haters Be Hatin’ is here to help you translate and read between the lines of Tiger’s Apology Speech.

• Tiger said he has a lot to over come. Translation - I came A LOT
• Tiger Woods said “I need your help”. Translation - If you see me with a good looking white chick, remind me NO!
• Tiger said “I didn’t take performance enhancing drugs. Translation - I’m 31 and don’t have erectile dysfunction.
• Tiger said “my wife didn’t hit me”. Translation – I’m too quick for the bitch to catch me.
• Tiger said he’ll never do it again. Translation - I don’t plan on getting caught.
• Tiger said “I was selfish”. Translation - I always came first.

Tiger ultimately will return to sex therapy because he’s a beaver monger who’s thirst can’t be quenched.

For those that weren’t entertained by the first announcement, Tiger made a second announcement and dropped the act and told everyone the real truths.

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