Really? It took you 50 years to aknowledge your pizza tasted like a can of smashed assholes?

Over the course of my life, I have been known to have a few too many drinks. Hell, even as I write this article I should put down the bottle of Knob Creek that’s in my lap. In drunken moments, I have been known to eat things I would later regret. White Castle being the number one culprit followed by Cheesesteaks, and of course, good ole Domino’s Pizza.

Domino’s, has always been that one reliable company that will get to your apartment quick enough to keep you from thinking that maybe you shouldn’t be eating so late in the first place.

Who would have thought through all those years of eating Domino’s at God awful hours under God awful circumstances… that the pizza tasted like crap. Domino’s recently has decided that they were sick of being labeled “bad food” and changed their recipe to taste better. Who would have thought that fresh ingredients make food better. Crazy idea right?

Well, apparently, the American public has been buying up Domino’s faster than ever. The company has recorded record profits since they released the new recipe. It’s not surprising, they basically went on TV and said, “Yep, we knew it sucked the whole time but you still bought it. Now we are trying our best and would like to hear what you think.”

Go ahead. Bring this piece of shit back. I dare you.

Would you people order a real pizza for crying out loud? Would real pizza places please make an attempt to compete with Domino’s for speed and styles? Also, real pizza places- please stop closing at 11pm! Real pizza money is after midnight and that is why Domino’s does so well. They are the only place open. It’s easy to make money when you are the only game in town.

Please, America, don’t buy Domino’s because they have made, and are boasting about it, a real product. Also, this was the same company that gave us the NOID.

Please, don’t let them think they are popular enough again to bring the NOID back.

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