If there is one American legacy that we can all be proud of it is that we are the fattest nation in the land. No, I do not mean fat with a PH you hip hop induced idiots… but more like Orca fat.

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!"

We love to consume and consume and consume to a point that when a Golden Corral opens up you would think Bon Jovi was in town with the number of cars in the parking lot.

Meet, Lizzie Velasquez, a 21 year-old woman who has some rare condition that leaves her unable to gain weight. Talk about not fitting in! She eats like everyone else and gorges up to 5,000 calories a day sometimes but still fits into a size -5. When she was a baby, born prematurely, she was dressed in clothes that were fit for dolls. I wonder if the American Girl line was also too big for her?

She has written a book that weighs more than her and is currently touring the country trying to promote self-esteem and empowerment. Good for you Lizzie! But at the same time, if people want to be like you, I think you are setting a bad example.  Girls are constantly trying to be thin like their idols and I think if they start copying Lizzie it could spell doom for the country… right Tori Spelling? Nicole Richie?

If the book tour doesn’t work out at least you can always work in Hollywood. Schindler’s List 2. IN 3D!!!

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"Two in the pink and one in the stink!"

Oh, Jesse James can you be any more of a fucktard? First, you cheat on America’s sweetheart with what can only be described as a tattooed anorexic albino, then you follow that up with 12 volumes of the same fetish. This whole fiasco just keeps popping out more crazy shit about the Nazi loving scum of the earth.

Not that it is any surprise but Jesse James has more than 12 homemade sex tapes and NONE of them are with his wife Sandra Bullock. Seriously, everyone is giving Tiger crap for his ordeal, but at least his whores were not representing the slaughtering of millions of people.

Earlier yesterday Radar Online obtain an anonymous exclusive interview with a source that not only dimed out Jesse and his tapes but also gave a quite disturbing description of what the sex tapes consist of.

The source claims:

“Most of the tapes feature a mass amount of Nazi paraphernalia. It’s all really quite disturbing. What I saw was a naked woman on her knees and Jesse in a Nazi hat waving his arm in a salute. It looked like the woman’s hands were bound. He was shouting and singing and appearing to swig from a bottle of bourbon every now and then. They could end up being made public just like the photo of Jesse giving the Nazi salute. There’s no doubt some of these tapes could leak and end up on the Internet.”

And I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before they do! I am also sure I will be the first to add them to my hard drive just so I can add in a funny soundtrack. My first idea was the music to The Blindside, but on second thought, I think just the fast wacky music from Benny Hill will have to do. Apparently, in one of the videos he is seen drinking a bottle of bourbon… please, oh please, don’t let it be Knob Creek. The shit is expensive as is, I don’t need it getting its status upgraded.

But if James is obsessed with Nazi fetish sex, as he clearly is, I really hope he finally makes the porno version of Shindler’s List and calls it Shindler’s Wrist. And hopefully, it will be a fisting movie.

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