Haters Be Hatin'

Posts tagged ‘sarah palin’

True love is blind they say and it’s flat blackout blind when it comes to Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin.

Just think... if Levi doesn't drop him on his head and kill him he might be President one day!

This week the world’s most famous hillbilly couple, named after a NASCAR track and a pair of jeans, announced they would be putting the past behind them for the sake of their 1-year-old son, Tripp, or Trigg, or Transmission or whatever the fuck they named it.

I applaud the couple for doing the right thing and now they have officially decided to ruin the kid’s life forever. Tripp might have had a winning shot with Levi out of the picture but now those weekends hunting with grandma will surely be shortened.

Tripp’s manager has no comment on the story but Bristol and Levi’s managers have stated that the couple are trying to relocate what they felt for each other so they can be good parents. Sarah and Todd also announced that they have taught Bristol how to be tolerate of other people all the while constructing that 14-foot-high fence around their home.

I hope that Levi teaches Tripp the tricks of the Johnston family… like knowing where to buy the most Sudafed where the DEA can’t track you and finally dispelling that old theory of “smelting it” and “delting it.” And Bristol will teach Tripp how abstinence leads to babies and how grandma is batshit crazy.

God bless their reunion and I can’t wait for the reality show that should be on MTV any day now.

Hate on This: Americans

by RabidCareBear on June 14th, 2010

I’m sorry… but I just have to hate on the hypocrisy of the stupid fucking Americans that think the world revolves around them. First off, this dumb twat Sarah Palin.

I hopey this cunt gets hit by a car as she changey her tire.

I would like to take her head and smash it into the cement about 93809380398392 times because she makes my skin crawl and doesn’t have a single ounce of sense in her entire red/white/wannabe blue ass.

It’s almost as if the stupidity of Bush sweltered out of the morons south of the Mason-Dixon line and exploded up the ass of this clueless winking money-hungry whore. Hey Sarah Palin- you and your daughter are trash and you’re nothing but a wannabe celebrity cunt that is laughing all the way to the bank on the ignorance of this country.

But alas, there is an entire other side of this country here in the good ol’ USA and we’re not all so stupid.  Make NO mistake- WE SEE YOU.

Well, now that I have said how I feel…

Moving on to dumber and dumber things… which of the below photos makes a stronger and more valid point?

All of that “gotcha” journalism has finally made Sarah Palin do what she wanted to do since 2008. She has successfully paid illegal immigrants to erect a very ugly 14 -foot-high fence around her home.

If only this had been around when Bristol was out whoring it up...

The reason for the fence you ask? A biographer has moved next door to the Palins and Sarah insists that he is spying on them. I think the fence is really there just to make sure the retarded baby doesn’t shit in the author’s yard.

Joe McGinniss, has been contracted to write about Palin’s popularity but also about the success of the state of Alaska. To show readers how Alaska has progressed from the beginnings of a barren unpopulated wasteland to its current peak as a barren unpopulated wasteland.

So the book sounds somewhat positive and Sarah supposedly even went next door to offer the author some of her famous pie. Well, hopefully, McGinniss has refused unlike everyone else in Wasilla who have already had a piece of her “pie”…

I wonder if… when Todd and Sarah have a fight, does she draws a big line in the middle of the living room and tell him he has to stay on his side of the room? Of course she isn’t paying attention and realizes that his side of the room also leads to the hall where the bathroom is. Because she is such a strong-minded, independent woman, she just shits on the floor to prove a point.

God bless you Sarah, and keep on erecting fences. Might just help keep the Russians out.

Hate on This: BP

by LessThanWalker on May 28th, 2010

You think Lohan's vagina is fat enough to plug this shit up?

Unless you have been living under a rock, or in Montana, chances are you have heard about the massive oil leak currently happening in the Gulf of Mexico.

The leak, which scientists have estimated spilled out somewhere between 17 and 39 million gallons of crude, has been gushing for well over a month.

BP has begun the “top kill” method this week as a last resort because Johnson and Johnson couldn’t cook up a big enough Band-Aid. The “top kill” method is basically putting a crazy amount of mud on top of the spill to plug up the pressure.

At first, I actually thought they were just going to lower Lindsay Lohan into the spill because the only job she can hold down for more than 2 weeks is playing the part of an empty void capable of sucking. Turns out, the mud would have worked out better in Mean Girls as well. The mud, which better be American, is doing a great job and I can’t wait to get my hands on some super profitable mud stocks.

It's ALL his fault.

I hope that the tragedy is over and the Gulf will be able to recover, because I don’t want to order my Crawfish and have to ask for regular leaded because the super unleaded is just too expensive.

Please boycott BP, and get your gas at Exxon instead. At least when Exxon destroyed the world, it was just retarded Alaska.


Top 5: GILFs

by BrahptimusPrime on May 17th, 2010

If there is one thing we can all enjoy, it’s a good MILF.  If there is one thing that twisted, perverted assholes can enjoy, it’s a good GILF.

Because we know our target audience, we have compiled a list of the top five most porkable grandmothers.  But let’s be serious, these aren’t your run of the mill bingo hall grannies.   These are some legit GILFs.  The only criteria for selection are being a grandmother and being really fuckable.

5. Emmylou Harris

Emmylou Harris is the George Clooney of GILFs:  her hair is silver and everyone wants to bone her.  In fact, Emmylou may be the most grandmotherly of all the GILFs on our list.  Her look just screams ‘good at baking, better at riding penis’. Is that inappropriate to say about a 63 year old woman? Yes.  Would we still bone her? Absolutely.

4. Goldie Hawn

Goldie Hawn may be the most attractive Jewish-Buddhist in existence, but only the world’s third most attractive grandmother. What she is, though, is smoking hot and the mother of Kate Hudson, that means that there are some attractive genes in her DNA.  On top of that, she has been a bona-fide sex symbol for the last four decades.  All in all, Goldie Hawn is a solid choice for one of the top GILFs.

3. Susan Lucci

Her face may be partially be made up of plastic and she may have been born during the Truman Presidency, but Susan Lucci is still a grade-A GILF.  First off, she is the top dog of soap operas.  She’s the Biggie, Tupac, and Snoop all rolled into one.  But instead of being black and good at rapping, she’s an old white woman with subpar acting chops and an incredible bone structure.

2. Jenny McCarthy

Technically speaking, Jenny McCarthy isn’t a GILF.   But when we are talking about hot grandmothers, technicalities go out the window.  McCarthy was, until recently, linked with the once hilarious Jim Carrey, whose daughter gave birth to her own child in the early parts of 2010.  Her child made Carrey a grandfather and by relation then, made McCarthy a step-grandmother.  And a very boneable one at that.

1. Sarah Palin

She may lack basic reasoning skills and have the IQ of a phone book, but Sarah Palin is hot and a legitimate grandmother.  That means that she birthed a person that later gave birth to another person.  During that timespan, Palin did not lose her attractiveness.  That is an impressive feat.  Lucky for her, stupidity did not play a factor in our rating metric, it certainly would have caused her to lose the number one position.  Yet, her rockin’ tits and Fargo-accent make us want to put her in a few different types of positions.

Honorable mention: This lady.

"Let's go huntin' for some poon, gentleman!"

America’s favorite baby daddy, named after a jean company, is back in the media spotlight. Shortly after Sarah Palin announced her potential reality show named Alaska, Levi Johnston has come out with a concept of his own, known as Frontier.

The show is being described as Entourage on ice” and he is showing up to meetings with networks, in a party bus. He has already started to proclaim that his show will be better than Palin’s and I actually already disagree.

Let me begin by saying, how the hell will “Entourage on ice” be a good concept? The first thing I thought of was Vinny and Drama talking about girls while doing triple salchows. Part of the fun of Entourage is how Vinny and the guys are in the posh LA scene, just living it up and having a blast, while being famous.

Another question I have is- what is the advantage of being tabloid famous in Alaska? What are the perks? Do you get to ride the Zamboni machine for free? I would assume that the nightclub scene… wait a minute… does Alaska even have a nightclub scene?

2007 Mother Of The Year

Also- he is the father of a newborn baby. What the hell is he doing running around trying to get his reality show off the ground? You didn’t see other responsible parents like Octomom, Kate Gosselin and Anna Nicole do reality shows when they should have been taking care of their children, did you? No, because those ladies have class. Well, not Anna Nicole, she was trash who I would have prescribed more pills to if I could have.

You would think that while mom is trying to attend college, Levi would at least be around to take care of the child. Nope, he is too busy hanging with his boys, romping around in the woods, trying to find a stable place to cook up some meth, which is more of a reason to watch his show.

We already have enough idiots taking up the TV airwaves. Do we need one more? Well, at least if there is a chance of a sudden explosion or the chance that he might get mauled by a polar bear… I actually just might tune in.

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