"Let's go huntin' for some poon, gentleman!"

America’s favorite baby daddy, named after a jean company, is back in the media spotlight. Shortly after Sarah Palin announced her potential reality show named Alaska, Levi Johnston has come out with a concept of his own, known as Frontier.

The show is being described as “Entourage on ice” and he is showing up to meetings with networks, in a party bus. He has already started to proclaim that his show will be better than Palin’s and I actually already disagree.

Let me begin by saying, how the hell will “Entourage on ice” be a good concept? The first thing I thought of was Vinny and Drama talking about girls while doing triple salchows. Part of the fun of Entourage is how Vinny and the guys are in the posh LA scene, just living it up and having a blast, while being famous.

Another question I have is- what is the advantage of being tabloid famous in Alaska? What are the perks? Do you get to ride the Zamboni machine for free? I would assume that the nightclub scene… wait a minute… does Alaska even have a nightclub scene?

2007 Mother Of The Year

Also- he is the father of a newborn baby. What the hell is he doing running around trying to get his reality show off the ground? You didn’t see other responsible parents like Octomom, Kate Gosselin and Anna Nicole do reality shows when they should have been taking care of their children, did you? No, because those ladies have class. Well, not Anna Nicole, she was trash who I would have prescribed more pills to if I could have.

You would think that while mom is trying to attend college, Levi would at least be around to take care of the child. Nope, he is too busy hanging with his boys, romping around in the woods, trying to find a stable place to cook up some meth, which is more of a reason to watch his show.

We already have enough idiots taking up the TV airwaves. Do we need one more? Well, at least if there is a chance of a sudden explosion or the chance that he might get mauled by a polar bear… I actually just might tune in.

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She'd probably have better luck trying to say that MJ was the father of her latest litter. Or renting out her vadge as a funhouse.

If I wanted to watch someone throw a hot dog down a hallway… I would watch someone throw a hot dog down a hallway. Not watch a porn starring Nadya Suleman.

Octomom has been so busy appearing in interviews all over television and working out… that she totally forgot she should actually just be…

WORKING.

But seeing as how she let that one little detail fall to the wayside she is now facing having her home foreclosed upon. That’s where Steven Hirsch, the President of Pornolicious Vivid Entertainment, comes into play. Apparently, Hirsch would like to see something that no one in their right fucking minds would EVER want to see. He wants her to make a porn. He has offered to pay off the remaining balance due on Octomom’s home ($460,000) if she is willing to take it laying down.

"I'll make you a deal... two for the price of one!"

Octopussy only has until the end of the day Tuesday to come up with the cash or her 14 illegitimate children will be out on the streets. Now, I guess my real question is, “Who the hell would want to see her clown car of a stretched pussy?” Or better yet- why doesn’t he just take his camera and drive through the Holland Tunnel?

Well, if it does get made you know the film will only consist of naked dudes crawling completely inside and out of her for 90 minutes.

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JFC, is all I can say at this point. Nadya Suleman, otherwise known as the Octomom, has said that another child in her life is not ruled out. In an interview she has stated that if she were to meet Mr. Right, and were to fall in love and be married, she would like to have a child with the fucking stupid lucky suitor. Because 14 children on public assistance is not enough, she needs to have that 15^th child.

Watch this horrific and awkward video below… if you can stomach it:

First off, someone kill this annoying bitch! Secondly, enough is enough already. There are a few flaws with this well laid plan of hers. First off, not one, I repeat, not one man in the world is going to date someone with 14 kids. I don’t care how open-minded someone says they are… no one who says they are of sound mind and body would dare date anyone with a reproductive system more used than the common hamster’s.

How the hell could you possibly WANT another child? You have 14 mouths to feed and asses to clothe and you think that a 15^th brat would be a wonderful idea? Shame on you Miss Suleman. I wonder what her mother thinks of this new idea? Remember, in that wonderful documentary that I wrote about earlier, her mother was fed up enough already with Nadya just using her house to shelter these 14 brats.

You can kiss that shit goodbye.

Seriously, you need to have at least an 8 bedroom house (and that’s 2 to a bedroom for the kids and a mommy and potential daddy in another) to properly shelter them when they get older. ANOTHER KID!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS!?? Because a 9 bedroom house paid for from public assistance exists anywhere in the world??

Please, someone shut down her factory. Anyone out there with the skill and the know-how to screw up her engine please heed the call!!

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Excuse Me Doctor! How Much For Some Vaginoplasty?

Thanks to being a hater, I’m reading and watching news stories I never cared to bother myself with. A prime example of this is the story of Octomom. I had heard of Octomom, Nadia Solemn, like the rest of you. However, I never really paid much attention to her before now. She’s some crazy bitch that decided to have 8 kids, who was unemployed, and had artificial insemination. I was finally privy to seeing her full blown 2 hour FOX special on the mother… of 14! I immediately said, “Whoa, I thought it was 8.” No, she had 6 more kids from previous births!!

This woman must be stopped at any cost. She is delusional and has no right having one child let alone fourteen. I think she really belongs on the A&E show Obsessed, considering I think she is the exceptional case of being the only woman on the planet who physically enjoys giving birth. How is this even possible? How can anyone get artificially inseminated without a stable job or housing? Can others do this? Will this become a fad? Will people start becoming obsessed with trying to out birth each other? Will Denny’s have a promo, “The 15th kid eats for free!”

The entire documentary showcases her first three or four months at home with the babies and the already forgotten first six children. Octomom’s mother, who could have the done the entire world a favor at the moment of Nadia’s conception by aborting, clearly shows hatred for her daughter. Good. This made watching this human Hindenburg disaster all the more pleasurable. Everyone seems to hate her… including her kids.

One of her sons, 2-year-old Caleb, punches her in the face and calls her a bitch. I could watch that moment over and over again. Read more »

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