Here's to never getting laid...

I’m not a big gamer. I own a Xbox 360 and have a Xbox Live account but I would never consider myself addicted to the technology. I enjoy a little bit here and there… and on rare occasions I have been known to play a little GTA… for way too long.

The big game these days is the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare series and I can understand why. It gives the gaming community the feeling of being a member of an elite commando squad and has an authentic approach to the first person shooter.

I hate every second of it.

First off, these online gamers with the headsets suck. They get together (alone at home) with their core group of friends (losers) and play a mission together… giving each other commands and basically living like an online death squad. The trash talking, name calling, and usual racist banter gets sickening after awhile. You ever want to experience this in all its glory? Play the game online with people you do not know. Once you are shot and killed by a 30-year-old loser in New Jersey (that lives with his mom), and he begins bragging about how awful you are, you will understand where I am coming from.

Back before evil Arabs... there were ducks.

Plus, the damn thing is just way too f’in hard. You take two steps in any direction and you’re killed immediately. A grenade is thrown at you, but you can never see the grenade, and guess what, you are then killed by said grenade. Another thing- it is never clear what the hell you are supposed to be shooting at or what you are supposed to accomplish in the game.

When it’s all said and done, you want to say fuck it, and just go play Duck Hunt on your old Nintendo.

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I have an Xbox and a Wii and I love them dearly. I grew up with Video games, like all of you, but lately I am finding myself more and more annoyed with them than anything else. Here are the top 5 things that are really bothering me with something that I do enjoy every once in a while.

$60.00 Video Games

Number Five: Video Game Prices. Why the hell are video games 60 bucks?  This has never been explained to me.  When we were kids the cartidge games were the same prices.  Now everything is on a disc.  Wouldn’t that make the products cheaper?  Now I’m sure there is someone that could explain this to me, but I want to know why this game is 20 bucks and this game is 60.  Cause the worst part is you wind up beating the game in a week or two and take it back to Game Stop to trade it in for like 10 bucks, which brings me to number 2.

Game Stop Employees

Number Four: GameStop Employees. I hate Game Stop.  They are everywhere and it’s the same douchbag in every store.  Some dweeb who really wants to change his legal name to his online name.  My name is John but you can call me DarthMaul227. You ask them a question and they roll their eyes like you are some moron.  “UMMM, NO SIR, this game does not require you to have an HDTV, it’s not like the companies NEED you to have one,” he says as he spits on me. I just immediately imagine knocking that c*cksucker out right there on the spot.

Online Gamers

Number Three: People who live online. Their entire life is summed up in their Call of Duty kill count.  They play for 17 hours a day.  They are all wastes of air.  The worst part is when you are a casual gamer and go online to try to have fun, and these losers curse you out and call you names while wearing that little radio headset. They are usually under the age of 15, racist, and tell you to suck him like you play Guitar Hero. Read more »

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