Haters Be Hatin'


Posts tagged ‘NFL’

Hate on This: Pro Bowl

by LessThanWalker on January 29th, 2010

Retirement in 2010? Will he or won't he? The crybaby retirement saga continues........

This year in the NFL, the Pro Bowl (NFL All-Star Game) is being played the Sunday before the Super Bowl. This is a first, considering that all years past the game was played the Sunday after.

The NFL is sick of the game having little to no ratings, because after the Super Bowl, all the players have clocked out for the season and were only going to the game for a free trip to Hawaii. They assume, that with the season not officially over, the game might now be more interesting. Nothing could be further from the truth.

First off, you can not have an All-Star game when the biggest star of the league can not play in it. Payton Manning, the Colts’ quarterback, is playing in the Super Bowl and has officially bowed out of the game. His replacement? David Garrard, the QB for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Drew Brees, the starting QB for the New Orleans Saints, also can’t make it due to Super Bowl commitments, and will be replaced by Philadelphia Eagles’ Donovan McNabb. And of course, old man Favre quit again backed out too, due to injuries, and will be replaced by Tony Romo.

As I typed that last sentence I am already making plans for something else to do that night other than watching that shit.

If only Plaxico Burress had one of these...

The NFL needs to get rid of this Pro Bowl. No one cares about it because there is nothing to truly win in an All-Star game in the NFL. In MLB, they made a good move by making the winning side of the All-Star game get home field advantage in the World Series. In the NFL this is impossible, because the Super Bowl is always in a designated, climate friendly city.

The only way the NFL can make the Pro Bowl interesting is if the winning team got money or complimentary “Get Out Of Jail Free” cards.

It’s true. Tell me I’m wrong.



Hate Off: Michael Vick

by admin on September 26th, 2009

Everyone’s favorite dog fighting NFL QB is eligible to play for the Philadelphia Eagles this week.

There is SO much intensity on both sides of this. Should he be able to play? Should he just rot in hell? Has he done his time? I’m sure everyone knows the story, but for those who don’t, the back story is: M. Vick started/ran an illegal dog fighting ring and kept over 70 pitbulls that fought in the ring at his house. When authorities searched his house, they found evidence of high stakes gambling, brutal dog executions (which included hanging, drowning, electrocuting and shooting dogs), and many of the dogs found alive were really f*cked up. I’m not going to provide pics here because it is f*cking gross, but if you want to see them, click here.

No my friend, Fuck You.

No my friend, Fuck You.

Now this is bad enough, but Vick lied about everything to the press for months and months saying it was his family and friends and continued to lie about it. He lied to and didn’t cooperate with the authorities which only helped him get a stiffer sentence that the others in the dog fighting ring.

We could go on for days with how awesome Vick is, but we shall leave that to you. This is a hate off folks. Same old rules apply.

1) One “Hate” per comment

2) 45 words or less per hate

3) Submit as many “Hates” as you want.

The best Hate and best Nut Hug received by Wednesday 9/28/09 will win a T-shirt from Snorg Tees or or a Michael Vick Tshirt.

mvick 41J6qRlWy2L._SL400_




Hate on This: Fantasy Football

by LessThanWalker on September 21st, 2009
fantasy-football-team

The ONLY football fantasy real men should be having.

Have you ever heard anyone speak like this, “So in this league I’m starting Payton Manning and my defense will be the Ravens. Last week I did alright but I wanted to switch my receiver from Terrell Owens to someone else. I have 3 other leagues running as well- one with the people I work with, one on ESPN.com, and one league I’m playing in I’ve made up a fake identity to play as two different people.”

I don’t know about you but I can not stand this crap called “Fantasy Football.” Full grown men involved in speaking about fantasies involving other men. Does this strike anyone else as a little strange? How is this cool? How is this not gay? How is this allowed when the “Star Trek” and “Lord of the Rings” people get together at conventions and they are mocked by society?

But yet when former jocks talk about what “men they want to have” and “what men they would die to have”… it is perfectly acceptable. They want men so badly that they’ll get together and have a draft… a fantasy draft. How are girlfriends and wives in the world not the least bit concerned about this sh*t?

Read more »



And you thought Bret Favre coming out of retirement for the umpteenth time was weird—which it is.
Thanks to the NFL Store, you can actually buy a Michael Vick dog jersey for your dog.  Yes, Michael Vick, the quarterback who went to jail for nearly two years for running a murderous dog fighting club!
If a dog could talk and saw he was wearing this shirt, ya think he’d say, “Hey, owner.  Whatcha put on me is giving me nightmares, man.  Like you do to me when I crap, I feel like sticking your face in this shirt’s receipt and saying, ‘Did you do that?  Did you have to buy me that??!!  Or, are you just jealous because I can lick my balls and you can’t?”
What’s next, NFL Store?   “Michael Vick’s Doggie Mitties,” which are guaranteed to not only to keep out the cold, but keep out the pain of a taser?
Are they going to sell Michael Vick dog leashes—which are as short as the one that Mr. Vick’s probation officer gave him??
Wake up NFL!  You selling Michael Vick doggie duds is like Charles Manson selling Sharon Tate dolls.  Talk about UTRA-weird…
And Michael Vick trying to explain his dog days is even weirder. He explained on “60 Minutes” why one of his pooches was found buried on his property.  It seems Michael and his pals, Jimmy Conway and Tommy DeVito, were driving to find a home for a loudmouth bitch named Billy Batts that Mr, Vick punished by beating him in a bar, then placing him in the trunk of his car.  As they were driving, they heard Billy loudly thumping in the trunk.  They parked the car only for Tommy and Jimmy to shoot Billy.  After burying Billy in upstate Virginia, they had to dig him up and bury him at Mike’s place.  A Hollywood producer wants to buy this yarn and call it “Good Doggas.”

And you thought Bret Favre coming out of retirement for the umpteenth time was weird—which it is.

Thanks to the NFL Store, you can actually buy a Michael Vick dog jersey for your dog.  Yes, Michael Vick, the quarterback who went to jail for nearly two years for running a murderous dog fighting club!

Really?

Really?

If a dog could talk and saw he was wearing this shirt, ya think he’d say, “Hey, owner.  Whatcha put on me is giving me nightmares, man.  Like you do to me when I crap, I feel like sticking your face in this shirt’s receipt and saying, ‘Did you do that?  Did you have to buy me that??!!  Or, are you just jealous because I can lick my balls and you can’t?”

What’s next, NFL Store?   “Michael Vick’s Doggie Mitties,” which are guaranteed to not only to keep out the cold, but keep out the pain of a taser?

Are they going to sell Michael Vick dog leashes—which are as short as the one that Mr. Vick’s probation officer gave him?

Wake up NFL!  You selling Michael Vick doggie duds is like Read more »



Let’s face it: the douche bag market is saturated with ironic mullets.  The hair cut once reserved for your Camaro driving older brother and creepy uncle from West Virginia is now the go-to style for trendy scenesters and metropolitan douchers.  So when most people gaze upon the shit-brown locks of Jared Allen, they often assume it’s just another attempt to be trendy and clever.

But, how wrong that assumption is.

The Holy Trinity: Mullet, Cowboy Hat, and Chest Hair.

The Holy Trinity: Mullet, Cowboy Hat, and 'Stache

Jared Allen is white trash.  And he cherishes it.  Allen, the two time pro-bowl Defensive End for the Minnesota Vikings, truly lives the life that his curly neck warmer advertises.  For starters, Jared earns his paycheck on the gridiron, the fourth manliest profession on planet earth (behind only Lumberjacks, Crab Fishermen, and Blog Writers).  Second, he takes pictures with bears.  And not just regular pictures with bears like you and I would do.  No, Jared Allen steps that shit up and put his fingers in their mouths.  Because what bear would bite a guy with a mullet, right?

Oh, and lest we forget, Jared Allen has a few DUI’s under his belt too.  In true white trash fashion, Allen has found his way behind the wheel on multiple occasions after pounding back a couple brews. Because that is what guys with real mullets do.

Peanut Butter and Jelly, Pizza and Beer, Mullets and Plaid

Heavenly Mullet

Could you imagine if one of those fashion mullet scenesters tried to live up to this true mullet lifestyle?  They couldn’t come close, because they’re only experience with bears are those of the other variety.  And everyone knows that you can’t get drunk enough off wine coolers to reach DUI territory.  So if you must hate, we demand that you not hate on those like Allen with proper mullets.  But instead, direct your fiery dislike to all the posers out there trying to represent the rough and tumble lifestyle personified by the likes of Jared Allen and Kenny Powers.




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