If you’ve been breathing in the last twenty four hours than you have heard about the latest location the United States plans to sink a great fortune into.  Hint: it’s the Moon.

Yeah, the Moon.  And it doesn’t even have oil.

Early on Friday morning NASA crashed a missile onto the surface of the Moon in an effort to create a crater large enough that a second space craft could come and take samples of the debris to send back to Earth. The mission carried a hefty price tag of $79 million dollars, which has garnered a large amount of criticism from both the public and the press.  All the talk got us thinking, how else could NASA have blown $79 million dollars?  Here are our top five ideas…

5) Give us an inventive new food item

TANG is so 1959.

It’s about damn time that NASA give us another bad ass food item.

Back in the day, Tang was all the rage.  The disgusting Orange drink powder captured the imagination of children everywhere by overloading their bodies with Vitamin C, all the while tricking them into thinking that they were drinking what astronauts drink.  Well it has been a few years and NASA is still slacking in the awesome food department. Our estimates conclude that $79 million dollars would be a good damn starting point for inventing some awesome new food.  In the Jetsons, they just had to swallow a pill to get their daily nourishment and we are still gorging ourselves with dollar menu cheeseburgers.  Hey NASA, step your game up.

4) Donate the funds to the Chicago Cubs

The Chicago Cubs have not won a World Series since 1908.

If NASA really wanted to spread goodwill, than they could have donated their small fortune to the Chicago Cubs.  With $79 million dollars, the Cubs may have been able to sign enough marquee players to have a shot at winning a World Series. With enough money, you can buy a Championship.  The New York Yankees have been doing this for years.

The affection and goodwill that could have been created by a Chicago Cubs championship would have far outweighed any scientific advancements NASA will make by blowing a crater in the moon.

3) Make it rain

Making It Rain.

Every American male knows that if you have a good portion of cash that you don’t mind getting rid of, the most badass option to get rid of it is to make it rain.

In an effort to increase their favor in the eyes of young men everywhere, NASA should have chosen this option.  It is clear that NASA has the resources to logistically make this happen.  Here’s what we would have proposed:

Send one of the NASA space shuttles into low orbit with bags upon bags of one dollar bills.  Then, just start emptying them.  The ensuing badassness would make Jay-Z retire, for good.  If NASA were to make it rain with $79 million dollars then rappers could no longer lay claim to baller status, as that would forever be in the hands of NASA.

2) Let Michael Bay do the same job for cheaper

Michael 'Boom Boom Pow' Bay

When an American company wants to have tech support jobs done for cheap, who do they call? India.

When someone wants to blow something up, who do they call? Michael Bay.

Let’s face the facts, Michael Bay isn’t a film director.  He is just really, really good at blowing shit up.  If you have seen any of the Transformers movies, any of the Bad Boys movies, or Pearl Harbor then you know that Michael Bay has a PhD in Kaboomology.  Hell, he also directed Armageddon which is a movie about a group of astronauts who save the world by planting and detonating a nuclear missile on a huge asteroid.  Michael Bay is well versed in space explosions.

If NASA really wanted to blow the moon up, then they should have enlisted the help of Michael Bay.  He could have done the whole thing for far less than $79 million dollars.  Goodness, for $79 million dollars Michael Bay could have blown up the entire moon AND made a two hour movie about it, complete with a scantily clad Megan Fox.

1) Don’t blow a hole in the moon

Call us crazy, but maybe NASA could have just pocketed the $79 million dollars.

Is it that outrageous to think that maybe we could have done without blowing a crater in the moon?  I am all for blowing shit up.  Men like explosions.  But it’s the damn Moon.  Perhaps, NASA could have just passed.

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