Haters Be Hatin'

Posts tagged ‘Lindsay Lohan’

Being a kid in the city must be hard. First, you have to be fluent in three different languages to get through grade school and bullet prices are not coming down anytime soon.

Dumpster Swimming Pools

Now even the rich of NYC are trashy people.

Now, if you want to cool off in the summer you have to swim in a dumpster. That’s right, the city of New York has decided to make dumpsters into swimming pools across Park Avenue. Just think, now you can do a few laps in the same dumpster that was the final resting place of a few good hookers.

I wonder who came up with this crappy idea? My guess is the dumpsters needed to be thrown away… but just like when you try to throw away a trash can, the garbage men ignore it.

Seriously, you ever try to throw away a garbage can? It’s impossible. Dear Trashman- why else would I leave an empty trash can in front of my house that smells worse than Lindsay Lohan… in the daytime?

This is easily the first time ever that pissing in the pool would be considered proper behavior. I’m curious if the pools will be frozen over in the winter so that way dwarfs and midgets can finally get their hockey league off the ground.

One thing is for certain, if they are looking for a new dumpster to turn into a pool… may I recommend a nice ballpark that no one cares about in Flushing, Queens.

What? You thought we would just let this one go unscathed, dipshit? Lindsay Lohan, America’s favorite soon to be dead wannabe lesbian has-been celebrity, was just sentenced to 90 days in jail for violating probation.

Lindsey Lohan Jail Sex

"Oh noooooo!!! That's 90 days without Botox!!"

The one question burning on everyone’s mind is… how many gooey vagina tacos can Lohan put down in 90 days?

The star gave a tearful apology to the judge, which was supposedly as unconvincing as her terrible acting. The judge said that she needed to understand the severity of her actions and I totally agree.

I still want some sort of severance package after seeing I Know Who Killed Me. Hopefully, this will give the slutbag cokehead star exactly what she needs- a good old fashioned prison rape!

"I know who killed Bill!"

I can’t wait for Lohan to come out of prison and master the art of winemaking. I’ve heard that Lohan “Toilet Merlot” with its full tannic flavor and slightly earthy textures will go perfect with any alcoholic SCRAM bracelet. Say what you will… but the wine has to be better than Herbie: Fully Loaded Part 2.

Hopefully, she’ll get her classless scabby little hands on some nice long sheets in da clink’ and hang herself David Carradine style.

Hate on This: BP

by LessThanWalker on May 28th, 2010

You think Lohan's vagina is fat enough to plug this shit up?

Unless you have been living under a rock, or in Montana, chances are you have heard about the massive oil leak currently happening in the Gulf of Mexico.

The leak, which scientists have estimated spilled out somewhere between 17 and 39 million gallons of crude, has been gushing for well over a month.

BP has begun the “top kill” method this week as a last resort because Johnson and Johnson couldn’t cook up a big enough Band-Aid. The “top kill” method is basically putting a crazy amount of mud on top of the spill to plug up the pressure.

At first, I actually thought they were just going to lower Lindsay Lohan into the spill because the only job she can hold down for more than 2 weeks is playing the part of an empty void capable of sucking. Turns out, the mud would have worked out better in Mean Girls as well. The mud, which better be American, is doing a great job and I can’t wait to get my hands on some super profitable mud stocks.

It's ALL his fault.

I hope that the tragedy is over and the Gulf will be able to recover, because I don’t want to order my Crawfish and have to ask for regular leaded because the super unleaded is just too expensive.

Please boycott BP, and get your gas at Exxon instead. At least when Exxon destroyed the world, it was just retarded Alaska.


Well at least we now know who is in the running to obtain an Oscar next award’s season. An amazing group of young actors are making quite a stir with their own version of a Hollywood classic, Scarface. It includes these talented young grade school kids portraying all of the main parts and spewing that awful “F word” around like trashy little inner city kids.

Check out the FUDGING video below:

Now a lot of people are upset with this viral video spewing off bullshit like “this is child abuse” and how this school should be shut down and all that parental “PC” crap. Well, first off haters- it is NOT a school play. It is a professional video that was cast and produced in Los Angeles and if you ask me… it is brilliant!

I personally think that the little Al Pacino has the best Cuban accent that I have heard since the original Scarface and I also adore the fact that the massive mound of cocaine on the desk in the movie… was replaced by popcorn. I’m totally going to teach my child to make that in arts and crafts class.

The haters are also saying that this is teaching violence to our children at an unusually young age. I say how the hell else are these little Hispanic kids going to learn to protect themselves from the cruelty of the streets? Have you visited Cuba or Miami lately? If you can’t pop a cap in a bitch’s ass then you are not going to last very long on the drug-filled streets.

Her first award was "Best Break Through Actress." Her next award- "Best Facial."

Come on, we all know that these little brats are going to fail miserably in their acting careers and wind up being washed up “has beens” searching the streets for their next high. I say let them act! I want to see their next staged production be a reenactment of The Color Purple or Shindler’s List!

You have to appreciate how the little guys really captured the ending of Scarface on the stage. The part with the kiddie pool is priceless. It made me wonder what the bathroom torture scene would be like… complete, with Fisher Price chainsaws and Monopoly money.

On a more serious note- just think about how much time it would have saved Lindsay Lohan if only she had been cast in this awesome production at the start of her career!

UPDATE: Lohan, after viewing this video, was recently seen purchasing large amounts of popcorn.

With the Super Bowl always comes top tier commercials.  With this year we were given a pretty clever and humorous ad for E-Trade.  The commercial was clever, witty and will give you a quick chuckle… unless you’re delusional, psychotic and/or Lindsay Lohan.

Now before this article, did any single person here ever watch this commercial and say to themselves: “OMG, they totally ripped on Lindsay Lohan”  If you’re sane and normal, your answer was no.  However, if you are Lindsay “The Milkaholic” Lohan, you clearly think this was poking fun at you and you must fight back.

When Lindsay brings a case to court, she doesn’t do it lightly.  She’s asking for a recockulous amount of money: $100,000,000.  There’s no mistake on those 0’s, she wants 100 mil.  Here’s the statement from Lohan’s attorney:

“Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit,” Lohan’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said in a statement to the New York Post. “They’re using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn’t they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody’s talking about it and saying it’s Lindsay Lohan.”

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH THIS NON-SENSE!  Are you serious?  Are you fucking serious?  I sure as hell hope this was a joke and Lohan comes back and says J/K.

Honestly, until reading the news today on Yahoo I never, not once, thought of Lindsay Lohan in this commercial and just thought “that was cute”.  Lindsay are times that tough that you go to filing suit over a commercial that uses a popular name?  What’s next… are you going to sue Belk Lindsey and say they defamed your name by changing the spelling?  Oh snap,  I want commission if you do!

The Daily Dollar 9-8-09

by RabidCareBear on September 8th, 2009


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