True love is blind they say and it’s flat blackout blind when it comes to Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin.

Just think... if Levi doesn't drop him on his head and kill him he might be President one day!

This week the world’s most famous hillbilly couple, named after a NASCAR track and a pair of jeans, announced they would be putting the past behind them for the sake of their 1-year-old son, Tripp, or Trigg, or Transmission or whatever the fuck they named it.

I applaud the couple for doing the right thing and now they have officially decided to ruin the kid’s life forever. Tripp might have had a winning shot with Levi out of the picture but now those weekends hunting with grandma will surely be shortened.

Tripp’s manager has no comment on the story but Bristol and Levi’s managers have stated that the couple are trying to relocate what they felt for each other so they can be good parents. Sarah and Todd also announced that they have taught Bristol how to be tolerate of other people all the while constructing that 14-foot-high fence around their home.

I hope that Levi teaches Tripp the tricks of the Johnston family… like knowing where to buy the most Sudafed where the DEA can’t track you and finally dispelling that old theory of “smelting it” and “delting it.” And Bristol will teach Tripp how abstinence leads to babies and how grandma is batshit crazy.

God bless their reunion and I can’t wait for the reality show that should be on MTV any day now.

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"Let's go huntin' for some poon, gentleman!"

America’s favorite baby daddy, named after a jean company, is back in the media spotlight. Shortly after Sarah Palin announced her potential reality show named Alaska, Levi Johnston has come out with a concept of his own, known as Frontier.

The show is being described as “Entourage on ice” and he is showing up to meetings with networks, in a party bus. He has already started to proclaim that his show will be better than Palin’s and I actually already disagree.

Let me begin by saying, how the hell will “Entourage on ice” be a good concept? The first thing I thought of was Vinny and Drama talking about girls while doing triple salchows. Part of the fun of Entourage is how Vinny and the guys are in the posh LA scene, just living it up and having a blast, while being famous.

Another question I have is- what is the advantage of being tabloid famous in Alaska? What are the perks? Do you get to ride the Zamboni machine for free? I would assume that the nightclub scene… wait a minute… does Alaska even have a nightclub scene?

2007 Mother Of The Year

Also- he is the father of a newborn baby. What the hell is he doing running around trying to get his reality show off the ground? You didn’t see other responsible parents like Octomom, Kate Gosselin and Anna Nicole do reality shows when they should have been taking care of their children, did you? No, because those ladies have class. Well, not Anna Nicole, she was trash who I would have prescribed more pills to if I could have.

You would think that while mom is trying to attend college, Levi would at least be around to take care of the child. Nope, he is too busy hanging with his boys, romping around in the woods, trying to find a stable place to cook up some meth, which is more of a reason to watch his show.

We already have enough idiots taking up the TV airwaves. Do we need one more? Well, at least if there is a chance of a sudden explosion or the chance that he might get mauled by a polar bear… I actually just might tune in.

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There are advertising campaigns and then there are really f—king stupid advertising campaigns.  Pistachio’s most recent campaign falls into the latter category.

Call me crazy, but when I think of pistachios one of the last things that comes to my mind is sex.  Lucky for me, some nut job advertising executives are out to change that.

No matter how you twist it, Pistachios aren't sexy.

If you have been lucky enough not to see them, then you have missed some of the most bizarre and ridiculous advertisements to date.  In an effort to overcome their declining sales from last April’s nationwide pistachio recall, the pistachio industry is fueling a fifteen million dollar ad campaign to rebrand their nuts as trendy and cool.  How else do you make green nuts trendy and cool, other than marketing them with sex?

The campaign is more or less just a series of television commercials with borderline famous celebrities doing something lame followed by a sexually ambiguous tagline.  The commercial that’s drawing the most attention stars America’s second favorite Alaskan: Levi Johnston.

Nothing about the commercial is subtle.  In the commercial, Levi sports a lime green shirt that has an outline of the state of Alaska, It seems as if the ad execs did this to remind us all who the hell Levi Johnston is.  If you are ignorant enough not to know who this f–ck nut is, then consider yourself blessed.  Levi came out of nowhere in the fall of 2008, as the dude that impregnated Sarah Palin’s daughter.  And if you are ignorant enough not to know who Sarah Palin is, then God bless your little heart.

Scope out the Levi Johnston Pistachio Ad after the jump:

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