Haters Be Hatin'

Posts tagged ‘lebron james’

I know what you’re thinking… but hear me out on this. I wrote previously that I was sick of all the Lebron hype over where he was going to play next season.

Lebron James Jersey Burning

Save your lighter fluid and just burn Cleveland to the ground.

The decision he made was Miami and the whole country is in quite a tizzy over this bullshit. South Beach threw a party that had everyone out on their faggy Vespas til the wee hours while Cleveland turned literally into ruins overnight. Not that the residents of Cleveland really noticed any changes. Seriously.

I personally commend Lebron for several reasons. First off, the man took a pretty steep pay cut to follow his dream of winning an NBA championship. He is crazy rich to begin with so to be even crazier rich was not a concern to him. It must be nice to look at 30 million dollars as unnecessary. Fucker.

He also turned his back on his hometown fans and told them they were worthless… in not so many words. His jerseys were on fire in the streets and people were seen crying in bars. No doubt, because they just realized that they all still live in fucking Cleveland.

I hope they win several championships in Miami and that Cleveland just turns into its older brother Detroit. I hope Lebron sells his home at a tremendous profit while all the homes near his go into foreclosure. I hope the owner of the Cavs, who had this interesting rant, never lives up to his promise.

Cleveland sucks. Miami is so much cooler and if you want honesty and devotion in sports… you pussies are in the wrong place.

Is he going to New York? Is he staying in Cleveland? Will Miami be his new home? I’m so over this gay shit with Lebron this and Lebron that. I just want him to break his ankle walking up to the podium for his hour-long press conference.

Lebron James Dick

"Shit nigga, you know I ain't sayin yet..."

One hour to tell people where you are playing next year? How slow do you fucking read, asshat?

The whole world, or more importantly, the few people who still watch basketball will be tuned in to see if James wants to stay in that shithole Cleveland or move his jump shot to another location. I kind of hope he goes to New York but instead of the Knicks he joins the cast of Phantom of the Opera. Imagine what those Nike Muppets would be like on Avenue Q!

Jay-Z wants him to join the Nets and give Lebron his own clothing line, which like his sneakers, will be made by very hard working 9-year-olds. Maybe Lebron will be sensible and take a pay cut… but I think we have a better shot of Lindsay Lohan showing up at a cash bar.

I’m just happy that after tonight, no matter what, all the attention on one athlete will be over. At least until Brett Favre decides to sob all over a microphone again when that pussy announces his retirement for the millionth time.

Where, oh where… will this bastard child go????

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