Just like in the real world, there is coke running rampant on the Jersey shore and no it’s not Snooki trying to find something to mix the Captain Morgan with.

Orange you glad you don't live in NJ?

Supposedly, while filming the new second season of Jersey Shore, an unnamed cast member has been hitting the slopes… and we don’t mean Mount Vernon.

The term “Sand to the Beach” rightfully applies here when the producers of MTV’s hit show decided to move the location to South Beach, Miami. One of the cast members has been rumored to be sniffin’ it up when the cameras were not rolling. I am actually stoked about this because now, like in real life when I go to a party, I can play that fun game of trying to guess who is on cocaine.

I can’t wait for that obvious moment when everyone is just chilling in the living room and JWOWW is furiously trying to get in touch with seven different people in 4 minutes via the “duck phone.” I really hope it’s not Ronnie. He’s got enough juice in him to light up all of South Beach as is and I think we all secretly hope it’s not Snooki.

My money is on Sammie Sweetheart because she is that typical girl from Jersey that screws over The Situation, dates a lug head, and does enough blow that she wakes up one day with 3 kids and can’t believe she married Vinny.

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"I have 2 dogs and a boyfriend AND we all four look alike!"

Well, well, well… first we have Snooki parading around like she’s some sort of Hollywood celebrity and now we’ve got that skankalicious JWoww thinking she’s a diva too.

Apparently, miss Jenni Farley aka “JWoww” was scheduled to make an appearance at the Estate Club in Boston last weekend but when her driver arrived at her Long Island home in a Cadillac Escalade the guidette wasn’t having it.

She must have been lathering on some last minute “Orange Glow” tanning lotion or gotten one of her hair extensions caught in her bathroom door because a source tells us that she made the poor driver wait outside for nearly an hour before coming outside to speak to him.

“First she made the car wait 45 minutes,” says a source. “Then she told the driver she doesn’t travel in Escalades.” The Estate club of Boston then made arrangements for a limo to come scoop up the prima donna wannabe bitch.

Meanwhile, what did she do while waiting for her luxurious limo to arrive? She ignored a group of screaming fans that were clamoring for her autograph. Reason? She says Jersey Shore keepers are not allowing them to sign anything without prior consent in order to drive up the value of the guidos and guidette’s signatures.

Drive up the value? Drive up WHAT value? Honey, we wouldn’t wipe our ass with your signature but we would throw it in the trash where you it belongs. Once Jersey Shore trash always Jersey Shore trash. Next time we’ll pay your driver to pick your ass up in a Toyota Camry.

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