Jessica Simpson is a natural beauty

Some things in life are just easy- like sorority girls, using a Mac, and hating on Jessica Simpson.

Recent events, however, have made us rethink hating on Simpson.  If you follow popular culture (see: have no life) then you may remember that Jessica Simpson had recently ballooned to the size of John Candy.  After coming off the eat-everything-in-fucking-sight diet, Simpson has returned to her more bone-able shape.  In addition, Simpson began a television show called The Price of Beauty where she travels across the globe to examine the attractive traits that women in different cultures share, like sandwich making abilities.

A recent magazine interview and photo shoot, however, has garnered even more attention for the idiot savant as she broke all conventions and did the shoot without make up or digital retouching.  What follows, then, is very surprising.  Jessica Simpson is still really fuckable.  That’s right, even without Photoshop, we would still advise someone to pork Jessica Simpson.  We can’t say that about most females, celebrities included.

Sure, Jessica Simpson is still the ditzy broad from the chicken of the sea fiasco.  And sure she says outrageous things.  But that isn’t a problem that can’t be solved, right?  So let’s just be glad that it was Simpson who decided to do this photo shoot and not another damn celebrity.  Could you think of Lady Gaga doing this?

Lady Gaga is a Natural Monster

We aren’t even certain that Lady Gaga is a woman, but imagine the hideousness that would ensue if she took off whatever mask and make up she wears? Our estimates project that the destruction caused by her real face would clock in somewhere between Hiroshima and the Cloverfield monster, in terms of damage done to humanity.  Her music is already the source of unending pain and suffering, just imagine if we saw her true face.  Terrifying.

Lucky for us, that should not be the case.  What is, though, is that Jessica Simpson is still spank bank material even without make up.  And you can’t hate on that.

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