Haters Be Hatin'


Posts tagged ‘jersey shore’

Just like in the real world, there is coke running rampant on the Jersey shore and no it’s not Snooki trying to find something to mix the Captain Morgan with.

Jersey Shore Cast Members

Orange you glad you don't live in NJ?

Supposedly, while filming the new second season of Jersey Shore, an unnamed cast member has been hitting the slopes… and we don’t mean Mount Vernon.

The term “Sand to the Beach” rightfully applies here when the producers of MTV’s hit show decided to move the location to South Beach, Miami. One of the cast members has been rumored to be sniffin’ it up when the cameras were not rolling. I am actually stoked about this because now, like in real life when I go to a party, I can play that fun game of trying to guess who is on cocaine.

I can’t wait for that obvious moment when everyone is just chilling in the living room and JWOWW is furiously trying to get in touch with seven different people in 4 minutes via the “duck phone.” I really hope it’s not Ronnie. He’s got enough juice in him to light up all of South Beach as is and I think we all secretly hope it’s not Snooki.

My money is on Sammie Sweetheart because she is that typical girl from Jersey that screws over The Situation, dates a lug head, and does enough blow that she wakes up one day with 3 kids and can’t believe she married Vinny.



Burnt Toast 4-14-10

by RabidCareBear on April 14th, 2010

Wow, so “The Situation” is gay now? LOL!



Celeb Slander: JWoww Who??

by RabidCareBear on March 13th, 2010

"I have 2 dogs and a boyfriend AND we all four look alike!"

Well, well, well… first we have Snooki parading around like she’s some sort of Hollywood celebrity and now we’ve got that skankalicious JWoww thinking she’s a diva too.

Apparently, miss Jenni Farley aka “JWoww” was scheduled to make an appearance at the Estate Club in Boston last weekend but when her driver arrived at her Long Island home in a Cadillac Escalade the guidette wasn’t having it.

She must have been lathering on some last minute “Orange Glow” tanning lotion or gotten one of her hair extensions caught in her bathroom door because a source tells us that she made the poor driver wait outside for nearly an hour before coming outside to speak to him.

“First she made the car wait 45 minutes,” says a source. “Then she told the driver she doesn’t travel in Escalades.” The Estate club of Boston then made arrangements for a limo to come scoop up the prima donna wannabe bitch.

Meanwhile, what did she do while waiting for her luxurious limo to arrive? She ignored a group of screaming fans that were clamoring for her autograph. Reason? She says Jersey Shore keepers are not allowing them to sign anything without prior consent in order to drive up the value of the guidos and guidette’s signatures.

Drive up the value? Drive up WHAT value? Honey, we wouldn’t wipe our ass with your signature but we would throw it in the trash where you it belongs. Once Jersey Shore trash always Jersey Shore trash. Next time we’ll pay your driver to pick your ass up in a Toyota Camry.



With trash like this... THEY should pay YOU to go on the shore

Whether you’re a fan of MTV’s Jersey Shore or not… you have to admit that it is easily one of the most talked about and highly controversial reality TV shows to ever be made. From Snickers Snooki to “The Situation” to the trashtastic JWoWW, this show is nothing but a train wreck that you just can NOT stop watching.

Well now, the show’s producer, Elina Miller, is about to piss off a completely different ethnic group- the Russian-Americans. If you thought the Jersey Shore was bad enough then you’ll have a whole new MTV show to hate on brought to you by the Russian-Americans of NYC’s Brighton Beach community, otherwise known as Little Odessa.

NOW CASTING:

“Are you the Russian Snooki or The Situation? Are you a super outgoing and fun-loving Russian-American that sometimes sneaks kalbaska, pel’meni and vodka from the fridge? Can people hear the Euro/Techno/Russian music blasting from your car before they see you pull up? … The cameras will roll as you do what you do best—eat, drink and PARTY. Here’s who we’re looking for: Outgoing guys and girls between the ages of 21 and 30 who would be willing to spend one summer living in an all-expense paid digs in the New York City area and consider themselves to be Russian-American (or from the former U.S.S.R, including the Caucasus). We’re searching for people throughout the entire U.S. including: NYC, Miami, Cleveland, Chicago, L.A., San Francisco and beyond. You must love attention and be the opposite of camera-shy…..”

I’m assuming they want to milk every single ethnic community they can… that is also still of a white face. This way no one can really call the show truly racist. I really don’t have a wonderful knowledge of Russian pride or history, but I can’t wait for some asshole on the show to refer to himself as “Red October.”

I also can’t wait to see how quickly Stoli vodka jumps at the opportunity to advertise on the show. Will “The Situation” owe money to the Russian mob and will one of these new Russian assclowns have to go talk to him for an Uncle? The crossover possibilities are endless.

Will there be way too much speedo action going on? Please god no- the fight scenes on the beaches for this season will just be out of control schlong slinging! I’ll tell you what I can’t wait for- to see the girls who have already spent half their lives in prostitution slavery… now free in America, to roam the country. One thing is for sure, it might be a different cast, but I really can’t wait to see another girl get punched in the face… because those Ruskies like to roll like that.

However, with Brighton Beach having one of the largest Russian communities next to Moscow, Miller says she has no intentions of accentuating the further stereotypes.

Riiiiiiight!



Burnt Toast 1-22-10

by RabidCareBear on January 22nd, 2010

Rockin it at the Jersey Shore. The Little Jersey Shore!



The Daily Dollar 12-25-09

by RabidCareBear on December 25th, 2009

MERRY CHRISTMAS HATERS!!!

The 20 Funniest Snowmen Of All Time (Super Tremendous)

The 20 Worst Christmas Family Photos Ever (Manofest)

PostSecrets Through The Holidays (College Humor)

Alyssa Milano’s Evolution: Jersey Shore (FunnyOrDie)

christmas




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