I am not fashionable.  I wear stripes with plaid.  Still, I hate UGG boots.

I don’t hate UGG boots because they are ugly, or because they are worn by dumbasses; both of which they are.  I hate UGG boots because, simply, they are not practical.

"Those boots really accent your testicles!"

Unless you are living in an arctic region, there is no utility to be gained by wearing wool lined sheepskin boots.  Still, females find it necessary to cover their cankles in dead rodent fur because they are under the impression that these shoes are cute and trendy.   Well to all those ladies, I am here to tell you something that Cosmo Teen won’t.  Those cute UGG boots are fucking stupid.

Although UGG boots were never really in, their popularity has declined in the past couple years. Thank goodness.  Nevertheless, these boots are still being sported by idiots everywhere.  To add to the ridiculousness, some ladies (and Homosexual Men) insist upon wearing these boots on warm summer days.  Because we all know that ninety degree weather calls for your favorite t-shirt, a pair of sunglasses, and animal covered knee high boots.

More or less, UGG boots are to fashion as Hilary Clinton is to our society: old, gross, and useless.

Whatever genius conned women into believing that UGG boots are cool and trendy deserves a damn pay raise.  If this genius can convince the gays and gals that sheep boots are cool, then just imagine the possibilities.  He, because only a male would be capable of such intellect, could probably also convince a certain ethnic group to not park on their lawns, or convince a different ethnic group to pay their taxes.  The sky’s the limit.

Ultimately, the mystery of the UGG boot will perpetuate until the end of time. Why anyone would ever wear these damn shoes, we will never know.  But that certainly isn’t going to stop us from hating on them.

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Those werewolves from Twilight could use some fashion advice from these guys…

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