"Stop sending me your stupid Farmville updates before I delete your ass!!"

I don’t know what the hell this is but my best guess is it’s a lot like SimCity but with a farm. Thanks to Facebook and all the free time we human beings waste on the internet, the game FarmVille has become a phenomenon.

In the game, you are a farmer and have to raise the crops and feed the livestock and the more successful you are at the game, the higher your score.

What I love about it is there are actual farmers breaking their backs in this country, losing their farms to the banks due to foreclosure, and losers across the country are just playing virtual farm all damn day. One loser, actually lost his job.

80 million people have signed up online to be virtual farmers and some individuals have far too much of an addiction to the game. But unlike other internet addictions that involve milk, this one involves a cow. Some Bulgarian official lost his job due to milking a cow during office hours. I say good, if you can’t control when you milk your cow, you have no right to any form of public office.

I have written about the addiction to the internet before but I think this one is the tip of the iceberg. Full blown adults losing precious time in their real lives… to virtual chickens.

There is a Wall Street version available too.

I might be totally off base here and I’m sure I’ll get some flack for this, but if you care about a farm this much, maybe start an herb garden in the front yard. Or if you live in a dirty slum like I do, a marijuana plant on the curb will at least blend with the neighborhood. The FarmVille epidemic will hopefully be another one of those fads that will show up on VH1′s Best Year Ever… but I bet it lasts for a few more years.

I just hope with FarmVille they at least try to show the banks coming in and raising their mortgage rates and how the big food companies try to entice you with lucrative contracts.

I want to see a Facebook update that reads, “Jill just had all her chickens hormonally enhanced on FarmVille.”

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