Haters Be Hatin'


Posts tagged ‘facebook’

In case you haven’t heard about it- the beginnings of Facebook are coming to a theater near you. The film, entitled The Social Network, arrives on October 1st and I hope it’s a huge giant massive-ass flop.

Facebook Sex

There's a lot of people Masturbating...

Remember kids… if this shit makes money then we get the Myspace and Twitter movies to complete the trilogy. Which I’m sure they’ll cast the talented stars from the Twilight films in them… who can’t even memorize more than 160 characters per scene.

What the hell could the plot of this stupid film even be about? The guy who invented Facebook stole the idea from someone else and that guy defriends him? I wonder how long the main character will be able to leave his relationship status as single until his girlfriend makes him change it to “In a Relationship.”

I wonder if there will be a tagged photo of one of the main characters but they are not even in it. The rest of the film is one man’s desperate search though all of his friends’ pictures to see if they were tagged in anything else to ensure that everyone from high school never learns what a fatass he has become? Or maybe it’ll be about stupid Facebooking tweens catching their crushes “stalking” their pages with the help of their ultra cool Facebook tracker! Or maybe they’ll even stumble upon a photo of their mother making out with their Uncle Steve at a drunken party.

Does any of this sound exciting? FUCK NO. I wonder if while the movie is running you can see the notifications in the upper left corner go off and the chat run on the bottom of the screen. I will not see this shitbag movie and I don’t care that David Fincher is the director. His last movie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, was such a complete bore it’s no wonder that his following movie is about fucking Facebook.

Mark Zuckerberg has already made enough money off of selling your personal information to outside sources… don’t make the little bitch even richer. DO NOT SEE THIS SORRY EXCUSE FOR A MOVIE!!



Hate on This: FarmVille

by LessThanWalker on April 9th, 2010

"Stop sending me your stupid Farmville updates before I delete your ass!!"

I don’t know what the hell this is but my best guess is it’s a lot like SimCity but with a farm. Thanks to Facebook and all the free time we human beings waste on the internet, the game FarmVille has become a phenomenon.

In the game, you are a farmer and have to raise the crops and feed the livestock and the more successful you are at the game, the higher your score.

What I love about it is there are actual farmers breaking their backs in this country, losing their farms to the banks due to foreclosure, and losers across the country are just playing virtual farm all damn day. One loser, actually lost his job.

80 million people have signed up online to be virtual farmers and some individuals have far too much of an addiction to the game. But unlike other internet addictions that involve milk, this one involves a cow. Some Bulgarian official lost his job due to milking a cow during office hours. I say good, if you can’t control when you milk your cow, you have no right to any form of public office.

I have written about the addiction to the internet before but I think this one is the tip of the iceberg. Full blown adults losing precious time in their real lives… to virtual chickens.

There is a Wall Street version available too.

I might be totally off base here and I’m sure I’ll get some flack for this, but if you care about a farm this much, maybe start an herb garden in the front yard. Or if you live in a dirty slum like I do, a marijuana plant on the curb will at least blend with the neighborhood. The FarmVille epidemic will hopefully be another one of those fads that will show up on VH1’s Best Year Ever… but I bet it lasts for a few more years.

I just hope with FarmVille they at least try to show the banks coming in and raising their mortgage rates and how the big food companies try to entice you with lucrative contracts.

I want to see a Facebook update that reads, “Jill just had all her chickens hormonally enhanced on FarmVille.”



The Daily Dollar 3-22-10

by RabidCareBear on March 22nd, 2010

Don’t Complain About Facebook (College Humor)

7 Common Facebook Interests (Guyism)

The BEST Singing Fail Ever (Fail Blog)

Cat Versus Baby (Huffington Post)



165770-fb_status575x400v2_slide

When his Facebook status had not been updated in over 24 hours... Brad's friends began to worry.

I have a Facebook page and that’s it. I check it about 2-3 times a day, mostly to see if I received any comments on any of the funny status updates that I posted earlier in the day. However, I have increasingly started to notice that with our internet connection now readily available on our phones… people are now more and more addicted to whatever “status” they need to update.

I bring this up because last night my girlfriend and I were having dinner at this great little sushi place, and the couple sitting next to our table were both texting furiously away on their i-phones. You could see that both of them were clearly on their Facebook/Twitter accounts… probably updating that they were out having sushi. There used to be a time that using the phone at the dinner table was rude behavior. Now if you’re not updating your status between bites you are losing out in the “status update race of life.”

If you are going to update constantly then give us some funny, amusing, interesting piece of information. “Hey, Erin and I are out at a sushi place and they don’t have burgers. What gives?” I say give people something to read that will make them scratch their head and say, “WTF?” Or DON’T BOTHER.

Kiss my ass @twitter. LOLZ!!

Kiss my ass @twitter. LOLZ!!

Also, stop sending me invites to events I don’t want to go to. That movie quiz was retarded. Never send me a quiz ever again. I am actually thinking about starting a Twitter account just to make fun of it. The other day I was walking into the mall and on the outside of the door there was a sign that says, “Follow us on Twitter.” Why the fu*k would I ever want to follow a mall on Twitter?

Does the mall update their status as well?

“Just had two cars stolen from my parking lot, LOL”



Forty years ago, two computer techs from UCLA and Stanford came up with an idea of sending information from two computers. One tech wrote the letters, L, then O, and then G. The other tech received the first two letters and the system crashed on the G attempt. This was the first ever instant message and, thus, the Internet was born.  So now, let’s talk about the 5 awesome things about the Internet.

Cable_Modem

Cable Modem

5. Cable modem. Remember dial up? Some of you do… some of you don’t. The younger ones probably have no idea what the hell I’m talking about, which is making me feel old.

All you young ones that get pissy at a page taking 10 seconds to load you don’t know how good you have it.

You spoiled brats!



fight-porn

Porn

4. Porn. This one is easy because buying and viewing porn used to be a dirty thing. Now it’s commonplace AND FREE!! It almost seems that if you are not looking at porn on the Internet… then what the hell are you doing on the net to begin with… Doing work? Reading for information? Shopping online? Banking? Submitting for scholarships? Taking an online college course?

Yeah…

What a waste of the technology.


youtube

YouTube

3. YouTube. There was once a time when stupid kids who pretended to have a Jedi duel with themselves where only viewable if you were the unfortunate parent to walk in on them playing in the bedroom. Not anymore.

Also- what would this crazy little world be like without Youtube losers to mock and make fun of?

Now we all get to enjoy the crazy people of this world thanks to this amazing website.

See the last two after the jump Read more »



The Daily Dollar 10-23-09

by RabidCareBear on October 23rd, 2009

What If Tom From Myspace Joined Facebook? (Geek Pad Show)

Evil Genius Bar (Babelgum)

The Farting Bee (College Humor)

6 Movie Heros That Sucked At Their Jobs (Cracked.com)

MotivationalPoster2




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