Here's to never getting laid...

I’m not a big gamer. I own a Xbox 360 and have a Xbox Live account but I would never consider myself addicted to the technology. I enjoy a little bit here and there… and on rare occasions I have been known to play a little GTA… for way too long.

The big game these days is the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare series and I can understand why. It gives the gaming community the feeling of being a member of an elite commando squad and has an authentic approach to the first person shooter.

I hate every second of it.

First off, these online gamers with the headsets suck. They get together (alone at home) with their core group of friends (losers) and play a mission together… giving each other commands and basically living like an online death squad. The trash talking, name calling, and usual racist banter gets sickening after awhile. You ever want to experience this in all its glory? Play the game online with people you do not know. Once you are shot and killed by a 30-year-old loser in New Jersey (that lives with his mom), and he begins bragging about how awful you are, you will understand where I am coming from.

Back before evil Arabs... there were ducks.

Plus, the damn thing is just way too f’in hard. You take two steps in any direction and you’re killed immediately. A grenade is thrown at you, but you can never see the grenade, and guess what, you are then killed by said grenade. Another thing- it is never clear what the hell you are supposed to be shooting at or what you are supposed to accomplish in the game.

When it’s all said and done, you want to say fuck it, and just go play Duck Hunt on your old Nintendo.

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If you thought Contra and Duck Hunt of the 80′s were bad ass video games… then we’ve got something even better for you.

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