Really? It took you 50 years to aknowledge your pizza tasted like a can of smashed assholes?

Over the course of my life, I have been known to have a few too many drinks. Hell, even as I write this article I should put down the bottle of Knob Creek that’s in my lap. In drunken moments, I have been known to eat things I would later regret. White Castle being the number one culprit followed by Cheesesteaks, and of course, good ole Domino’s Pizza.

Domino’s, has always been that one reliable company that will get to your apartment quick enough to keep you from thinking that maybe you shouldn’t be eating so late in the first place.

Who would have thought through all those years of eating Domino’s at God awful hours under God awful circumstances… that the pizza tasted like crap. Domino’s recently has decided that they were sick of being labeled “bad food” and changed their recipe to taste better. Who would have thought that fresh ingredients make food better. Crazy idea right?

Well, apparently, the American public has been buying up Domino’s faster than ever. The company has recorded record profits since they released the new recipe. It’s not surprising, they basically went on TV and said, “Yep, we knew it sucked the whole time but you still bought it. Now we are trying our best and would like to hear what you think.”

Go ahead. Bring this piece of shit back. I dare you.

Would you people order a real pizza for crying out loud? Would real pizza places please make an attempt to compete with Domino’s for speed and styles? Also, real pizza places- please stop closing at 11pm! Real pizza money is after midnight and that is why Domino’s does so well. They are the only place open. It’s easy to make money when you are the only game in town.

Please, America, don’t buy Domino’s because they have made, and are boasting about it, a real product. Also, this was the same company that gave us the NOID.

Please, don’t let them think they are popular enough again to bring the NOID back.

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Jersey trash x's 8.

Over the past week a complete abomination aired on that channel that used to show music videos (MTV), The Jersey Shore. The show, which is basically The Real World at the beach, is a collection of quite possibly the worst people in America. I am from New Jersey and am saddened at the fact that this will represent my state for some time to come.

Sigh, now every time I travel and tell people I am from New Jersey, the first question that will creep out of their mouths will be, “Hey, you see that Jersey Shore show on MTV?”

“Jersey Shore furthers the popular TV notion that Italian-Americans are gel-haired, thuggish ignoramuses with fake tans, no manners, no diction, no taste, no education, no sexual discretion, no hairdressers (for sure), no real knowledge of Italian culture, and no ambition beyond expanding steroid-and silicone-enhanced bodies.” That was the New York Times review, and it is spot on. The show has now come under fire because of its portrayal of Italian-Americans. And the show now receiving boycotts, protests, and death threats- is now losing many of its commercial advertisers.

I say good. I’m sick of my state being rendered as a barren wasteland that smells and is full of people like the ones on Jersey Shore. When advertisers pull ads… that is a good thing to me because it means the show will not last. It all comes down to money and when Domino’s Pizza pulls out its money mainly because they don’t want to be associated with disparaging views of Italian-Americans that says something.

Because lets be honest, the Jersey Shore is the worse thing to happen to Italian-Americans since, well… Domino’s Pizza.

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