Enough is enough. I’m so fucking over 3D. First, every movie is getting the 3D treatment and now the dimension is coming to the world of video games.

3D birthing video games? I hope you choke on the placenta.

I actually hope this kills a few kids so it can finally go away. I seriously am contemplating forcing some epileptic retarded youngster into playing one of these 3D games to help my cause. Hopefully, he’ll foam at the mouth so hard that he’ll actually choke on his own tongue.

The first question I have is… what will 3D really do for the gaming experience? I know these Call of Duty maggots are going to want this bullshit in droves so they can finally feel fully submersed into their fake little battle zones. Just pathetic.

You want something cooler, assholes? Get off the couch and go outside. IT’S IN THE FOURTH DIMENSION!!

I’m sorry- no one and I repeat, no one… looks cool in 3D glasses. Put 3D glasses on R Patz and none of you idiots would want anything to do with him. Thankfully, Nintendo nerds have the smarts to realize this and they’re trying to perfect a technology on their handheld DS for 3D… without the glasses. Finally, you can have your 3D experience, in your pocket, wherever you go… as your existence becomes completely useless.

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Here's to never getting laid...

I’m not a big gamer. I own a Xbox 360 and have a Xbox Live account but I would never consider myself addicted to the technology. I enjoy a little bit here and there… and on rare occasions I have been known to play a little GTA… for way too long.

The big game these days is the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare series and I can understand why. It gives the gaming community the feeling of being a member of an elite commando squad and has an authentic approach to the first person shooter.

I hate every second of it.

First off, these online gamers with the headsets suck. They get together (alone at home) with their core group of friends (losers) and play a mission together… giving each other commands and basically living like an online death squad. The trash talking, name calling, and usual racist banter gets sickening after awhile. You ever want to experience this in all its glory? Play the game online with people you do not know. Once you are shot and killed by a 30-year-old loser in New Jersey (that lives with his mom), and he begins bragging about how awful you are, you will understand where I am coming from.

Back before evil Arabs... there were ducks.

Plus, the damn thing is just way too f’in hard. You take two steps in any direction and you’re killed immediately. A grenade is thrown at you, but you can never see the grenade, and guess what, you are then killed by said grenade. Another thing- it is never clear what the hell you are supposed to be shooting at or what you are supposed to accomplish in the game.

When it’s all said and done, you want to say fuck it, and just go play Duck Hunt on your old Nintendo.

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