Haters Be Hatin'

Posts tagged ‘bristol palin’

True love is blind they say and it’s flat blackout blind when it comes to Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin.

Just think... if Levi doesn't drop him on his head and kill him he might be President one day!

This week the world’s most famous hillbilly couple, named after a NASCAR track and a pair of jeans, announced they would be putting the past behind them for the sake of their 1-year-old son, Tripp, or Trigg, or Transmission or whatever the fuck they named it.

I applaud the couple for doing the right thing and now they have officially decided to ruin the kid’s life forever. Tripp might have had a winning shot with Levi out of the picture but now those weekends hunting with grandma will surely be shortened.

Tripp’s manager has no comment on the story but Bristol and Levi’s managers have stated that the couple are trying to relocate what they felt for each other so they can be good parents. Sarah and Todd also announced that they have taught Bristol how to be tolerate of other people all the while constructing that 14-foot-high fence around their home.

I hope that Levi teaches Tripp the tricks of the Johnston family… like knowing where to buy the most Sudafed where the DEA can’t track you and finally dispelling that old theory of “smelting it” and “delting it.” And Bristol will teach Tripp how abstinence leads to babies and how grandma is batshit crazy.

God bless their reunion and I can’t wait for the reality show that should be on MTV any day now.

All of that “gotcha” journalism has finally made Sarah Palin do what she wanted to do since 2008. She has successfully paid illegal immigrants to erect a very ugly 14 -foot-high fence around her home.

If only this had been around when Bristol was out whoring it up...

The reason for the fence you ask? A biographer has moved next door to the Palins and Sarah insists that he is spying on them. I think the fence is really there just to make sure the retarded baby doesn’t shit in the author’s yard.

Joe McGinniss, has been contracted to write about Palin’s popularity but also about the success of the state of Alaska. To show readers how Alaska has progressed from the beginnings of a barren unpopulated wasteland to its current peak as a barren unpopulated wasteland.

So the book sounds somewhat positive and Sarah supposedly even went next door to offer the author some of her famous pie. Well, hopefully, McGinniss has refused unlike everyone else in Wasilla who have already had a piece of her “pie”…

I wonder if… when Todd and Sarah have a fight, does she draws a big line in the middle of the living room and tell him he has to stay on his side of the room? Of course she isn’t paying attention and realizes that his side of the room also leads to the hall where the bathroom is. Because she is such a strong-minded, independent woman, she just shits on the floor to prove a point.

God bless you Sarah, and keep on erecting fences. Might just help keep the Russians out.

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