You think Lohan's vagina is fat enough to plug this shit up?

Unless you have been living under a rock, or in Montana, chances are you have heard about the massive oil leak currently happening in the Gulf of Mexico.

The leak, which scientists have estimated spilled out somewhere between 17 and 39 million gallons of crude, has been gushing for well over a month.

BP has begun the “top kill” method this week as a last resort because Johnson and Johnson couldn’t cook up a big enough Band-Aid. The “top kill” method is basically putting a crazy amount of mud on top of the spill to plug up the pressure.

At first, I actually thought they were just going to lower Lindsay Lohan into the spill because the only job she can hold down for more than 2 weeks is playing the part of an empty void capable of sucking. Turns out, the mud would have worked out better in Mean Girls as well. The mud, which better be American, is doing a great job and I can’t wait to get my hands on some super profitable mud stocks.

It's ALL his fault.

I hope that the tragedy is over and the Gulf will be able to recover, because I don’t want to order my Crawfish and have to ask for regular leaded because the super unleaded is just too expensive.

Please boycott BP, and get your gas at Exxon instead. At least when Exxon destroyed the world, it was just retarded Alaska.

DRILL BABY DRILL!

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