Haters Be Hatin'

Posts tagged ‘bikes’

Burnt Toast 10-26-09

by RabidCareBear on October 26th, 2009

Riding a bike… something you never forget how to do unless a huge metallic object is in your way.

Cyclist Suck Balls

by LessThanWalker on October 1st, 2009

He gives a whole new definition to the term "Moon Cycle."

There are many ways to travel in the metro area. But one select group of people have taken upon themselves to be the biggest douches of them all- The Cyclist.

First off, why the outfit? Spandex tight short shorts, that’s sole object is to suffocate any genital area. Special cleats, aerodynamic helmets, and 18 gears of speed on the handlebars. Does any of this really matter when you’re trying to go for a simple bike ride? You’re in NYC, this isn’t the Tour De France- knock it off!

Hey, I ride a bike too. I enjoy riding a bike once in awhile. And I know not to wear loose clothing because it might get caught in the gears. But this doesn’t give you any excuse to wear a longer version of the speedo. Just because you want to be like Lance Armstrong doesn’t give you the right to dress like him. If you really want to be like Lance… do the rest of us a favor… and lose a testicle.

Hopefully, with that one ball shortage and all that bike riding your fertility rate will be lower than Magic Johnson’s t-cell count. It’s a good thing too because I don’t want you breeding anyway. You’d probably be one of those idiots that gets a bike with two or three baby seats on it. And if you, as unfortunate as that would be for the rest of us, breed and decide to buy a bike with multiple baby seats on it…

I hope you hit a bad pothole and kill your entire family.

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