What in God’s name is going on in Beverly Hills? How is this guy, best known as the “(Wo)Man”… not arrested for indecent exposure and who in their right mind would find this bike riding eyesore entertaining enough to video tape it and put it up on Youtube to the music of Lady Gaga?

WARNING: For those of you with a weak stomach you MIGHT NOT want to play the video below.

Yes, that’s right folks. This is not a joke. And yes his tits are real!.

This half-naked tranny is making a name for himself all over Beverly Hills by gallivanting around dressed like this! Dipshit celebrity blogger, Perez Hilton, is bound and determined to make this guy the next “It List” celebrity. But us here at Haters Be Hatin think the only thing this (Wo)Man needs to be made into… is made to be locked up into a mental facility for some serious intensive shock treatment.

Again, we say WTF!!!! Thoughts???

Someone please tell this bitch to close his mouth.

Well as if this is supposed to come as some huge surprise- Jay-Z apparently doesn’t like white people. Well, at least it seems that way when after he won big with the Best International Male Solo Award at the BRIT 2010 awards he hosted a rager of a party at Merah nightclub in London. Only problem was… no white people were allowed to enter into his VIP area.

Britain’s Daily Star Music Reporter Kim Dawson says:

“I’ve been to countless showbiz bashes but never have I met meatheads like those at the Jay-Z do (party). Jay-Z is a megastar and yet it was clear white people were not welcome in his VIP area. While the red rope was lifted for black guests to breeze through, let’s just say it stayed down if your face didn’t fit. I have never felt so intimidated. It left me feeling like a mauled dog.”

... as she realizes her life is over.

I’m confused. I don’t even know if I want to like this show or hate it… but I certainly think MTV’s new reality television show, 16 and Pregnant, is nothing short of brilliant. It documents the lives of several pregnant teens and the struggles they must face with being teen moms. Check it out: 16 And Pregnant…

One of the guys in an episode is fighting with his baby’s momma about what a loser he is and how he is doing nothing with his life since quitting his job at McDonalds and he actually says, “I was overqualified for McDonalds.” Uhm, really… is that even… possible?

Normally, I can’t stand the reality TV shows on MTV or any other channel, for that matter. But, this show is a big FAT reality check that most young women should be forced to see. The girls on this show are straight up young ignorant when it comes to reality. I’ll be 30 in April and I’m still terrified of the thought of children. Let alone… trying to do it when you’re still in high school. There is just something about a screaming baby and algebra that would make me want to drown the thing in a shallow bathtub.

I’m not even going to comment any further than to say, “This show deserves an Emmy.” If Intervention and Hoarders can be nominated why not 16 And Pregnant?

You think you’re old enough to have a kid? You think your high school education doesn’t matter? Watch a few episodes of 16 And Pregnant and you might rethink that. Just watch the clip below and then tell me teenage pregnancy is cool: Wait, wait! Make sure you have your princess tiara and your pimple cream ready because this shit below is stressful!

Ignoramus pop artist Avril Livigne has just released her new single for Tim Burton’s upcoming Alice In Wonderland movie and true to Avril’s style and reputation… it sucks harder than all of Tiger Woods’ mistresses.

The only "complicated" thing I see is how you still have a career.

With all the awesome talent out there in the music industry why would Disney decide to go with Avril Livigne? She hasn’t had a decent song out since, well, ever? She’s been too busy trying to be a wannabe sk8ter girl and spitting on the paparazzi. What the hell is Disney thinking?

What confuses me is why wouldn’t they go with their golden child Miley Cyrus or even Demi Lovato? It’s not like Miley’s reputation could be any worse than Avril’s… and we all certainly know that Miley’s songs sell better than Avril could ever hope for. Her career has been in the shitter for years.

Maybe Tim Burton secretly has a hard-on for Lavigne?

Check the song out in all of its glory below: Is it just us or does she sound like a dying hyena? Thoughts???

"I swear I'm not anorexic!!"

So you want to hear some really messed up shit? Well, apparently, the recently deceased actress’ scumbag piece of shit husband, Simon Monjack, and mother, Sharon Murphy set up The Brittany Murphy Foundation, a children’s arts education charity, in honor of her memory.

However, after receiving various donations from the public since last month, it comes to light that the so-called charity has yet to even register with the state of California OR the IRS as a non-profit organization.

After this crazy shit was discovered by the journalists low-life paparazzi of TMZ the website was promptly shut down for “routine maintenance.” The website has since then been taken down, leaving nothing but a heart-felt message that they will be promptly returning any and all previously received donations.

SO basically, not only did her douchebag loser of a husband Simon Monjack destroy her once thriving career but he also most likely helped lead to her demise and then tried to scam people out of their hard earned cash in memory of his deceased wife. I mean really… what grieving husband doesn’t want an autopsy done on his 32-year-old wife that suddenly drops dead of a heart attack?

Can you believe this guy?? What do you think? Does he deserves the Husband Of The Year Award??

How convenient...

Wake up B*tch!!! You are NOT Juliet!!!

In a relationship, there are many sacrifices. Sometimes you go to a party you want nothing to do with, or maybe you are forced to participate in activities that if your friends saw you participating in they would take photographs and try to blackmail you. Such an activity happened to me over the week, I saw New Moon. The second part of the Twilight saga which has made more money from 16 year old screaming girls than birth control. My girlfriend really enjoys the books and so I was dragged, kicking and screaming, to this crap.

To begin, I am not on Team Edward or Team Jacob. I more belong to Team “I don’t give a rats ass about Bella.” If you don’t know the saga, I will sum it up as such- a werewolf and a vampire are both fighting over the same bad actress. Kristen Stewart is a complete train wreck as the heroine of the story… to such a point that I considered doing heroin to try to enjoy her “performance.” I don’t know what would be the name of her acting style but I think it’s very close to an epileptic fit. She blinks more than a retarded child staring at the sun and her idea of inner suffering is to literally scream in her dreams. I never laughed so hard.

As far as the rest of the film is concerned, I don’t get it. I don’t think I’m supposed to get it. The nice wolf kid Jacob is a swell enough fella who just can’t figure out that he’ll never be THE GUY. The guy being Edward. Robert Pattinson, who plays Edward as James Dean after the accident, is clearly only good at one thing- leaving snail trails at the junior prom. The whole thing is pretty retarded and how the hell was it over 2 hours long? That’s another thing- I must have checked my watch more times than the last time I spoke with my mother on the phone.

All in all, I’d rather see the other disaster movie currently in theaters… 2012.  At least I can laugh at it and not feel like I’m completely wasting my time.

I wouldn't be suing your business manager... I'd be suing your hair doctor.

Well now I officially received my answer that I’ve been asking for years- why is Nicholas Cage in so many bad movies? It turns out, he needed the money.  This explains so many classics, like Gone in 60 Seconds, Snake Eyes, Matchstick Men, National Treasure 1 and 2, Ghost Rider, Knowing, Next, and of course The Wicker Man.  For every Leaving Las Vegas, Adaptation, and Face/Off he seems to have 4 or 5 Snake Eyes. Well, it turns out the man has taken it upon himself to help increase our national spending and he has done so by putting himself in a situation that in order to afford his lifestyle he must rake in over $30 million dollars a year.

I make $30,000 a year that the government knows about, and I can barley write anything that people seem to give a shit about, but one thing I do understand is that if I NEED $30 million dollars to maintain my lifestyle than maybe I should start thinking about some things. Things like not having to OWN multiple houses, yachts, an F’in island, and a $1.6 million dollar comic book collection.  Well, he sold the comic collection… probably because Gone in 61 Seconds wasn’t materializing fast enough.

He is now suing his business manager for making poor money decisions and now we all know that this is pure bologna. It is not a business manager that tells you to do Bankock Dangerous, it is your thirst for more money to fuel your private jet. I hope he kerplunks. I hope that Leaving Las Vegas was like a really long trailer for what is to come for Mr. Cage. I mean, come on- man, a voice in G-Force? You are an Acadamy Adward winning actor and you were voicing a Guinea Pig for an elite counter terrorism squad filled with fart jokes?? I’m surprised he didn’t commit suicide during the recording process. He probably didn’t because his money is receding as fast as his hairline and self dignity.

Cloverformers: Coming in 2012. Hopefully, Megan Fox dies in this disaster of a movie.

So the end of world is coming up and I have to talk about this sure to be piece of crap movie. From the guys that made Independence Day, Godzilla, and The Day After Tomorrow, we now have 2012. It’s the exact same movie, over and over again.  Now I have not seen the movie at all, but I am going to predict what happens.  I will then see the movie, because I have to, and let’s see how close I am.

First off, we get some idea that the disaster is looming.  The opening shot will forecast what is sure to be coming, but will not be loud enough for anyone to notice.  Most likely we will have that one shot of someone noticing something, but it will be a blip on the radar.  Then we will have the introduction of our main character, usually at work, or with his family. There will be some idea of his back-story, either a drunk, a divorce, or some issue that is keeping the family unit as a whole- not connected.

We will then meet some other people, some connected to the main character and some not.  Most likely they will cover other races and ethnic cultures.  There will be some stereotypes but nothing that borderlines racist thinking.  There will be a comic relief character and also a beloved pet.  Then the sh*t will hit the fan.  Special effects will rule the day, things we know and love will be destroyed, and millions of people will lose their lives and it all somehow stays at a PG-13 rating. I can guarantee you the Statue of Liberty will be destroyed.

Ok.  The Worst is over.  The few survivors, who just so happen to be our protagonist and his family, except for one or two key characters, are now huddled together fighting to survive.  Usually a parent or a close friend didn’t make it. The rest of the movie will drag on forever, and hope and humanity will somehow conquer.  Also, love will matter as well, and everyone who was fighting will kiss and make up in the end.  Then the credits rolled and I wasted another $11 dollars.

You have already seen this a dozen or so times, so unless you have a desire to watch the world end again, I think we can all skip on 2012.

Tastes just like chicken

New Haven, CT police, using cadaver sniffing dogs, quickly realized that Yale student Annie Le had died.   Officials explained, “Since Annie Le is Korean, the sound of our dogs sniffing would have immediately made her sniff, salivate and say, ‘When’s dinner ready?’ When we didn’t hear her, we knew she was deader than the doornail she was stuffed behind.”

"Nobody puts baby in the corner!"

At the time of his death, Patrick Swayze was working on a film called “Dirty Directing.”  Patrick played a funeral director who, upon seeing where a family placed their dead daughter’s casket, exclaims “No one puts a body in the corner!”

"Thank GOD we used protection, honey!"

Ray Clark, the lab technician jailed for murdering a Yale student has received his first fan letter in jail—from Kate Gosselin.  Kate gushed, “I’m writing because I heard your job at Yale was to dispose of litters of useless lab mice and, you have experience in killing Asians.  Well, I have an ex-gook husband and a useless litter of eight I want you to dispose of…PRONTO!”

With the release of Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds, Brad Pitt has once again shown the world why he is “the man.”  He’s married to the most beautiful woman ever.  He’s got more money than anyone could possibly need.  And, in nearly all of his movies, he simply kicks ass.  In his latest release, he kicks Nazi ass – and lots of it.

A two-time “Sexiest Man Alive,” Pitt obviously has his health and good looks going for him as well.  All things considered, Brad Pitt truly has everything a man could ask for.  It’s only fitting, then, that he’s not a man at all.

That’s right.  Brad Pitt is a robot.

Now, I’m no scientist or robot expert.  But there’s no dancing around it.  There are no other logical explanations for Brad Pitt’s talent and successes.  He is a robot – and a bitchin’ robot at that.

And cousin, robot business is a-boomin'

Don’t be alarmed, though.  He’s not the first.  Robots have been around for a while now, living the lives that mortal men fantasize about.  Mick Jagger is a robot.  Michael Jordan is a robot, too.  Will Smith may or may not be a robot.  But Brad Pitt…he’s a definite.

Let’s just run down his career, shall we?

Pitt has starred in badass movies like Fight Club, Ocean’s Eleven, Twelve Monkeys, and Se7en, stealing every scene with ease.  He’s been married to Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie.  He currently has six kids – yes, six kids – and still manages to kick Nazi ass in his free time.

I’m honestly surprised that his cold, metal interior is still a secret to the world.  No humans are that awesome.

But the truth is, I’m thankful for all the robots out there.  With perfection embodied and broadcast to the world, normal people have something to aspire to.  We can learn from the robots.  Granted, I haven’t a clue where they came from, or what they were actually designed to do.  The possibilities are rather frightening.

For now, though, I have no problem with idolizing these machines.  Hell, if being a robot would get me to Angelina Jolie, then sign me up.