This is every man’s dream turned nightmare. Luring a hot girl 22 year old girl in your car away from her friends, doing whatever with said whore in the car whilst you are away, returning her to where you dropped her off with her friends, her accusing you of rape because her friends were busting her balls about leaving them, you going to FUCKING JAIL for 4 years based on her word ALONE.
She's hot, not, 4 years in jail getting raped by other inmates, hot though.
Biurny Peguero Gonzalez did this exact shit back in 2005 and sent William McCaffrey to jail for 4 years. She then came clean 4 YEARS LATER and old dude is finally out of jail. McCaffrey is understandably bitter about the ordeal.
“I was an accused rapist in prison,” he said, adding that in prison, “rape is the worst crime possible.”
I would agree with that, both when you are doing it and it is getting done to you.
So I thinks to myself, I thinks, Well you gotta give her some credit for coming clean on her own and letting the guy out. WRONG! She only came clean after DNA evidence proved she was a lying whore. Normally, because she has no priors, she would have gotten probation for perjury. WRONG! Judge said she was going in for 2-5 years for this heinous BS.
Let this be a lesson to all of you guys. Tape every single sexual encounter you have and make sure your friends are watching.
Don’t forget the radio show Ya’ll. You can call in and talk about what you want to hate on or hate on us to our face. Click here to go directly to our radio page. We would love to hear comments, good or bad, about the show etc. Let us know what you think!
Hey ya’ll, just a lil’ old announcement to make. We did the first radio show last night at 11:00 pm and it went really well. It was unpublicized because we were testing out the technology and trying to get the groove of the show. We put a small shout out on Facebook right before we went live.
We had about 20 or so listeners, one caller, and a whole lot of fellowship and fun. We’re going to be on live every Wednesday at 11:00 pm if you want to tune in. There is a player in the sidebar if you want to hear last nights show and upcoming shows will be listed there as well. You can also click here to go directly to our radio page. We would love to hear comments, good or bad, about the show etc. Let us know what you think!
It has been a while folks since we have done a Hate Off, but trust me this warrants one. This fucking video, this fucking video, Oh My God, this fucking video. I don’t want to steal too much of your thunder so I will just give a short recap. This old white guy (who is wearing a shirt entitled “I am a motherfucker”) and this young black guy get into a disagreement on a bus and oh the misadventure that ensues. Take a look.
This is a Hate Off. Best comment for the black kid or white guy wins it.
Same old rules apply.
1) One “Hate” per comment
2) 50 words or less per hate
3) Submit as many “Hates” as you want.
The best Hate received by Friday 2/19/10 will win a Pants on the ground Tshirt. If we get more than 50 comments we will give a prize for best pro black kid and best pro white guy comment.
Now I don’t want to be an ungracious winner, but I think thats TOTALLY WHAT I’M GOING TO BE.
After nearly a year of Harry Reid, Barrack Obama, and Nancy Pelosi, essentially telling the American people to fuck off, we finally see light at the end of the tunnel. Tonight Scott Brown (R) was elected to Ted Kennedy’s seat in the US Senate… Which means that the Democrats no longer have a filibuster proof majority in the Senate and now are unable to plow through anything they want.
I want to take this moment in this short post to give a big F U to the Democrats in Congress who have continually acted like they know better than everyone else. Listen to the people. This is just a preview of next November.
Man… Fuck Spike, Fuck the Video Game Awards, and Fuck all of the nerds that were there thinking they were superstars.
Does Sony own Spike? It sure seemed as if they did with the way all of the POS Playstation games won the awards. I sat through this thing ONLY to see the Halo Reach demo. I have never been in so much pain from uncomfortableness in my life. It was like all of these nerds up in one place thinking that video games are saving the world or that they mean something. Don’t get me wrong, I spend way to much time playing vidja games myself. But I am acutely aware of their importance in real life. They fall somewhere between viral videos and bing.com. They are fun and provide entertainment but if they did not exist the world would go on and people would be more productive.
Let me just take you through the goods and the bads of this thing so you don’t need to watch it. For a full rundown of all of the video game award winners check this out.
The Good Parts.
Only Pimps have a Purple Lightsaber
Video Game premiers. The best things on the whole show were the premiers of the new games. They of course showed the Halo Reach premiere which was pretty bad ass. The only thing even close to the Halo Reach premier was the Star Wars: Force Unleashed 2 premier. Very awesome. UFC Undisputed 2010, Rock Band: Green Day, Batman Arkham Asylum 2, Prince of Persia, and a few other games were also premiered. They were pretty much the only thing that made this bearable.
Bad Ass Presenters. Some of the presenters were cool and funny. Jack Black won for best voice in Brutal Legends and he told the people that made Arkhum Asylum to taste his ass. Literally. The guys from this new Spike show, Blue Mountain State called Tim Tebow a pussy. Mike Tyson threatened to beat up the guidos from Jersey Shore. Samuel ”Snakes on a Plane” Jackson was on there talking about the new Star Wars game and he was pretty funny as well.
Thats it. The premiers and a few presenters. Thats it for the good stuff. If you want to get off on how amazing COD Modern Warfare 2 is you will probably love this show.
The Awful parts.
Video Game Studio Winners. When the guys from Assassins Creed won they spoke half English/half French Canadian. Seriously? French Canadian? It was so painful because these two guys were like rubbing each others shoulders on stage like they were all coked out and assuring each other that everything would be alright. These guys were the best example on how serious some people take this. They seemed like since they won they kidnappers were going to give their kid back. They were all sweaty and nervous. No one knew when to clap or anything it was just like quiet and they were like being cut short because they went on forever.
A Snakeskin Suit?
Stevie Wonder was the presenter for best music game. Uhm… He’s fucking blind and last time I checked there were no braille video games so chances are he has never seen or used a video game. What is he doing there? As if we need further proof that he can’t see, he was wearing suit with snakeskin arms. Besides flailing around and messing up his lines he put out an passionate plea to video game studios to make handicap accessible games. How would… I’m not going to even do this. The jokes are too obvious.
All of the real stars feeling awkward. Snoop Dog was on this thing a lot and it was like he almost couldn’t believe he was there. He had to give the stupid presenter speech that wasn’t really funny and pretty awkward. It was the same for everyone. The video game nerds probably wrote these speeches. The type of stuff that’s only funny written down and then only to them. It was like these stars were paid so much money to be here that they couldn’t not go. You could tell how miserable they were. The same thing goes for the hot ass models that were there. These nerds think that if they are even in the same zip code as these models they have a chance. As if the problem was that nerds can’t meet girls, not that they are socially retarded.
The weirdo emo bands. I don’t even know who they were or what they were singing/crying about. Its the same skinny jean wearing, jet black hair having, greasy, whiney bitches singing seemingly the same songs. The one dude was playing his guitar with a bow and it was just awful.
Last Thursday I went to Target and got my tree, lights, and blah blah blah. Everything was in stock. Huge selection. No problems. So I went again to get more lights for my balcony on Sunday, and this time it was like looking for canned goods after nuclear winter. I shit you not. There were like maybe 3 boxes left of the hundreds upon hundreds that were there the other day.
So I ask the emo kid there what the deal is. Now, let me preface this by telling you that this kid had jet black hair, faux hawk, skinny pants, an eyebrow ring, and a snarky ass attitude.
So I say to the guy, “What’s the deal with the lights? There is like nothing left. Was there some kind of sale or something?“
So this little fucker sits there for a second like a dear caught in headlights and sorta stares at me like I’m crazy, and then says, “Uhhhh… its two and a half weeks from Christmas and people have bought them all.” As if I am buying lights on Christmas Eve or something.
Then why are the rest of the shelves fully stocked?
Now let me tell you that everything else in the department was fully in stock. Literally, everything else was in stock. It wasn’t like there were some lights gone, but there was like light crumbs laying around. As if the eyebrow ring alone wasn’t enough to set this kid on fire, I ask him if he can scan the shit and tell me if there is anything at any of the other stores, and he is just like, “They’re not going to have any either.”
I was so shocked by what a little smart ass dick he was, I didn’t even have my wits about me to respond. What I should have said was, “Uhh… Maybe you guys didn’t order enough fucking lights, and if I’m that fucking late getting my decorations up, why is everything else in stock?” But alas I didn’t. Somewhat anticlimactically, we went and bought lights at Walmart where the lights were plentiful.
My display is now a glorious celebration to the baby Jesus. But the whole point is fuck that kid
Just when you think Fox’s Family Guy is going downhill with all of the star guest appearances and decreasingly funny side gags etc., they go and do something like they did last night….. and TOTALLY REDEEM THEMSELVES.
Liberal Douche?
Let me preface this by saying that I love Family Guy and think its humor is very smart even though it seems stupid. The one thing that “Grinds my Gears” so bad about Family Guy is not the irrelevant side gags, the stupid way that the story lines never makes sense, or the way that they have been known to almost verbatim copy the Simpson’s story ideas. The thing that really pisses me off, is their preachy, “I know better than you” agenda that they try to push off on everyone. It is almost the same formula every time. Lois doesn’t think something is right, be it gay marriage, legalizing pot, or the existence of God. Brian, being a liberal douche, explains how stupid everyone is who doesn’t agree with him. He then shows, through a situation that Lois can relate to, why she and her point of view are also stupid and then she comes around to see how ignorant she has been and abandons her point of view. The one that pissed me off the most was where Meg believed in God and was born again. Kevin over at Dean’s World explained this perfectly:
See, according to Family Guy, sincere Christians are literally stone-throwing, book burning, irrational fanatics. I’m not engaging in hyperbole here. When the town found out that Brian was an atheist (because Meg felt it her Christianity duty to tell them) the news compared him to Hitler, banned him from various stores, and literally tried to stone him.
"See, It's different when I stereotype people."
Later, Brian confronts Meg outside a church where she and its members are engaging in a jolly book burning, destroying the works of Darwin, Steven Hawking, and a tome titled, First Grade Logic. Brian turns Meg away from her faith by pointing out, essentially, that if God were loving He’d have made her attractive and not placed her in a home where she’s as mistreated as she is.
That is how it ends. Everyone learned their lesson on how stupid, ignorant, and intolerant Christians are and Meg reconsiders her religious views. I know its just a cartoon, but I really love the show and it really pisses me off that they talk down to the audience so much and don’t ever really throw a bone to the other side.
So on last night’s show, ”Jerome is the new Black,” Peter tells Brian that he can’t be their fourth friend because Quagmire HATES him. Brian takes the entire episode to try and befriend Quagmire and find out the source of his animosity. At dinner, after constant prodding about what Quagmire’s problem is, Quagmire lets him have it in this awesome rant, that pretty much sums up everything I have ever thought about the situation. It was so dead on and perfect, it makes me feel thatSeth MacFarlane realizes what a dick he is and what a dick he has made Brian sound like. Watch the rant in the video is below.
No matter how many showers he takes, he will never look clean.
Let me start out this post by saying I am not generally a big Jack Black fan. He is fat, has greasy hair, and I sometimes think that if I look at him too long I will get gonorrhea of the eyes. To me, he is one of those actor/comedians that doesn’t quite make it to funny all the time. Its like he is just at the cusp of the Make You Laugh Canyon and he doesn’t have enough “it” to jump in. It is almost funny. You are watching one of his movies and he delivers a punchline and you say to yourself “I see why that would be funny, I know that it should be funny, but I just can’t get a laugh to come out.” It almost makes you chuckle but not quite.
With that being said, I recently got the video game Brutal Legend from GameFly on the recommendation of a hard core gamer. It looked really stupid, and I am NOOOOOOT into heavy metal at all. I shit you not though, this game was amazing. I play video games (Xbox 360) quite a bit and I am somewhat of a picky bitch when it comes to what I like and what I don’t like. Oh, some of my favorites? Knights of the Old Republic, Halo 3, Bioshock, Grand Theft Auto, Command and Conquer, Tom Clancy’s End War. I was really surprised that I loved this game so much because it is so not how video games are typically made. It combines so many different types of game play, its really well written and thought out, has lots of big name stars in it, and is really centered on having fun instead of worrying about your health meter, number of lives, or conforming to a specific type of game. In many ways it is a lot like Grand Theft Auto in control and game play but it has multiple other elements too.
Game Play
The game play, the game play, oh my GOD, the game play. The best thing about this is that on top of its sandbox style gameplay where you can explore the entire map, choose your side quests, and decide when to do missions, it also has a large real time strategy (RTS) component to it. Several times throughout the game you have a “Stage Battle” that switches the game into RTS mode where you collect fans (resources) that allow you to build and command an army of characters, upgrade their status, upgrade your stage, and fight against bosses. The multi-player version of the game is just the stage battles. They have it set up for random matchmaking against other players or against the AI by yourself. You can play with a friend on your team as well against the AI or others. The other different game play feature is that if you complete different side quests you can get fire tributes (Money) to buy upgrades to your weapons, cars, special powers, paint jobs, and other miscellaneous stuff.
The shittiest thing about the game play experience is that like all other games in this genre, the camera determines what direction you go in, and generally speaking, it will decide for itself. If the camera is are looking forward then right is right and left is left. Very simple. But its when you are trying to watch an enemy and move that the ordeal starts. It is IMPOSSIBLE to back up. To fight with someone and back up cannot be done because you have to point the camera in the direction you want to go. So you have to turn around, go as far as you want, and then turn back around to fight your enemy. When you are walking it is not that bad, but when you are driving and not just going forward it is a huge pain in the dick. There is this one part of the game where you have to drive around in a circle to capture this metal beast. You have to control the camera, the steering, and dick with the buttons to release fire from your exhaust. If you don’t have complete control of the camera, it “fixes itself” and then right turns to left and you are going the wrong way. Its manageable but in situations where you have to maneuver it is less than helpful.
Story and Characters
Useless but awesome Cameo by Brian Posehn
You control Eddie Riggs throughout the game who is played by Jack Black. He is a cool death metal roadie that gets sent to another universe (honestly they reference going back in time but that doesn’t make any sense) to try and save the humans there. It is a good story all the way through with solid characters and a ton of cameos.
One of my favorites both in this game and in real life is Brian Posehn, who plays the master hunter. Ozzy Osborne is of course in this and you can actually understand him sans captions. The most appropriate is Tim Curry as the chief villain Doviculus. No one can play an evil snarky bad ass like Tim Curry. All of the cameo characters look like the real life people and the other characters are really well done too.
I’m sure everyone does this, but you know how when you are playing a game and one of the other characters says something stupid, you insert your own dialog?
Your sidekick: “We have to save the Princess!!”
You: “No f*cking shit.”
Or like after you beat a hard boss you flick them off and curse them out? Well one of the things that makes it for me in this game is that Jack Black actually does this as Eddie Riggs it has partially redeemed him in my eyes. He flicks off bosses, throws out the occasional, “What the Fuck?” and makes sarcastic comments to other characters throughout the game.
With the big name stars doing the voice overs, the well written story and dialog, it’s really as if a movie crew made this game instead of a game design studio and is pretty clever all the way through. Rent it or buy it, it is defiantly worth trying.
Really? Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize? Really? The nominations ended in February 2009 so it is based on what he did up through that point. So based on his first 11 days in office, his “accomplishments” as a State and US Senator and as a community organizer he is entitled to this award. What a f*cking joke. What did he do? He even said he is befuddled that he won. This is a hate off folks. Best hate gets an Obama Shirt. If we get over 50 responses the Best Nut Hug gets a Snorg Tees Shirt.
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