In case you haven’t heard about it- the beginnings of Facebook are coming to a theater near you. The film, entitled The Social Network, arrives on October 1st and I hope it’s a huge giant massive-ass flop.
Remember kids… if this shit makes money then we get the Myspace and Twitter movies to complete the trilogy. Which I’m sure they’ll cast the talented stars from the Twilight films in them… who can’t even memorize more than 160 characters per scene.
What the hell could the plot of this stupid film even be about? The guy who invented Facebook stole the idea from someone else and that guy defriends him? I wonder how long the main character will be able to leave his relationship status as single until his girlfriend makes him change it to “In a Relationship.”
I wonder if there will be a tagged photo of one of the main characters but they are not even in it. The rest of the film is one man’s desperate search though all of his friends’ pictures to see if they were tagged in anything else to ensure that everyone from high school never learns what a fatass he has become? Or maybe it’ll be about stupid Facebooking tweens catching their crushes “stalking” their pages with the help of their ultra cool Facebook tracker! Or maybe they’ll even stumble upon a photo of their mother making out with their Uncle Steve at a drunken party.
Does any of this sound exciting? FUCK NO. I wonder if while the movie is running you can see the notifications in the upper left corner go off and the chat run on the bottom of the screen. I will not see this shitbag movie and I don’t care that David Fincher is the director. His last movie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, was such a complete bore it’s no wonder that his following movie is about fucking Facebook.
Mark Zuckerberg has already made enough money off of selling your personal information to outside sources… don’t make the little bitch even richer. DO NOT SEE THIS SORRY EXCUSE FOR A MOVIE!!