Like most Americans I really don’t watch football or the made up word we gave it… soccer.

Vuvuzelas: First invented to blow the AIDS away.

Normally, I really wouldn’t be watching a soccer match between South Africa and Mexico and normally I would not be drinking at 10 o’clock in the morning but the World Cup is anything but normal. Soccer is already annoying with its 2 and ½ hours of 1-0 “excitement” but thanks to these fans the games are even more annoying because of the vuvuzelas.

When I first heard the sound I thought those Discovery Channel shows about African bees weren’t kidding around. Then when a friend of mine explained those are plastic horns in the stands, I was dumbfounded. First off, why is a Dr. Seuss word/invention an actual device?

Second, who the hell finds this sound entertaining? The sound is to mimic an elephant and I really hope a stampede comes down into Johannesburg and runs over these vuvuzela fuckwads.

At the World Cup the sound has destroyed everything. The commentators can’t get a word in. The players can’t communicate with each other and Mandela now wishes he was back in prison for some peace and quiet. Hell, there’s an iPhone application that lets you have that sound effect wherever you go.

I am actually thinking about getting my very own vuvuzela and taking it with me when my girlfriend drags me to this Eclipse bullshit later this month. Goodbye Kristen Stewart’s horrible acting and say hello to my little friend.

WHUUUOOOOOHHHHHOOOOOH.

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