Is this supposed to be intimidating?

No. Not the real Karate Kid. I know I have recently written about hating on the Hollywood remake/reboot machine and this is a prime example of it.

I am a child of the 80’s and The Karate Kid is a treasured movie of my past. The story of Daniel moving from NJ to CA and learning Karate from a wise old neighbor, becoming a man and standing up to bullies… was the perfect story for 1984.

You know something is strong when numerous references from the film still stand… at close to 30 years later. How many different times have you yelled “Sweep the leg Johnny” or gone into the “Crane Kick” pose when joke fighting with someone?

The Hollywood remake/reboot machine didn’t just decide to take The Karate Kid to the next generation, they decided to put gasoline all over it, light a match, let it burn… and then piss on it to put out the flames. The new Karate Kid, and please watch the trailer, takes a young kid from the hood to China. Because that happens a lot. Once in China, he is bullied by the other kids until… Jackie Chan swoops in and teaches him the art of Kung Fu.

I am already annoyed because then shouldn’t this movie be called The Kung Fu Kid? I guess they already had Kung Fu Panda and didn’t want audiences thinking it was a sequel.

Was Jackie Chan the oldest Asian actor they could find? Pat Morita, the only Mr. Miyagi, had amazing presence as the wise old man and that was a huge reason for the success of the original film. Mr. Miyagi was the ultimate trainer and badass at the same time. He didn’t just teach you Karate, he taught you life, and also was just a blanket stereotype.

Every American Jackie Chan flick has been nothing but stereotypes (Rush Hour films I’m looking at you). Please don’t see this pile of crap. Please make these remakes stop. I don’t want to live to see The Goonies get butchered.

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