Anyone want to see a middle aged woman stomp and shuffle around on the dance floor like a flailing geriatric with an enema stuck in her ass? Well, then you’ve come to the right place! Somehow, Kate Gosselin has managed to make it to week 3 of Dancing With The Stars and from the looks of her most recent graceful performance she’s well on her way out the door.

Check out her shittastic dancing below:

I guess my first question for Kate is- what cross dressing prostitute did you steal your wig from? That shit looked like she came across some roadkill and decided to make a hat out of it.

Also, why does she move and shuffle across the dance floor the same way that people do when they stand in line for a roller coaster? I almost felt like I was back in Florida waiting in line at Islands of Adventure for the Hulk. At least when I was done waiting in line I had a GREAT time on the Hulk. The last time I watched someone move this poorly was when Terrie Schiavo took the media spotlight by storm. Even in Schiavo’s current state she still has better moves than Kate Gosselin.

Why is it when you Google Buzz Aldrin's name... this picture of Kate comes up??

And what’s up with that skirt lift around the 1:24 mark? Please Kate, we don’t need to see the garage door that popped out 8 soon-to-be bastards. Poor Buzz Aldrin got kicked off that episode, and as much as grandpa was no longer needed on the show, we really need Kate to go home as soon as possible. Not just because she is an AWFUL dancer, but mainly because she has 8 freakin’ kids who are all about to get their asses kicked because mommy can’t do a simple two-step.

One last thing… will someone please introduce Kate to an African American or Latina and have them teach her some moves, and by moves, I’m not just talking about dancing. Black and Latina women don’t put up with any crap and could show Kate how to take care of a scumbag like Jon.

Penis glued to own chest, anyone?

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