Haters Be Hatin'

Someone find us the manufacturer for that chair. It looks hella sturdy.

First off, do not take this article as thinking I’m simply hating on someone for being overweight. I, like you, get easily disgusted by the morbidly obese.

What I can’t stand is when the really obese person is doing absolutely nothing to change their life. I have said this for years. I may be overweight by the classic definition but I don’t do FAT people kind of shit.

What does that mean you ask? If you go out for a seafood dinner and require more butter in ounces than actual seafood, that is a fat person kind of move.

Well, I have officially been disgusted to a point that I am actually offended and really hope someone, somewhere, does us all a favor and pushes this individual into a bus. But not really, because the bus might not be able to take the impact and could affect more lives in the process.

"I thought her pussy stank... it turned out to be a Filet-O-Fish... with fries."

Donna Simpson, from Old Bridge New Jersey, already holds a fat record. She is the fattest woman to ever give birth. I wonder if her daughter is named Precious. This hot mess of a slob also has her very own food eating fetish website. GROSS. Anyway, Donna has decided in her trans fat influenced head that she wants to be 1,000 pounds.

Well, I guess it’s nice to have goals. To want to have heart disease, diabetes, respiratory problems, high blood pressure, cankles, high cholesterol, stretch marks, and an impossible to find vagina, I guess you really are shooting for the stars. Or maybe it was just the star on the Carl’s Jr. logo.

This is disgusting on so many levels. First, this is a world where people are starving and we donate food in cans every chance we get. The fact that this person can even attempt this goal bothers the hell out of me.

Also, there are people who are overweight, and it really is not their fault. For some people they are caught in weight issues from their childhood and are fighting with them well into their adult lives. When someone this useless decides to want a goal like this, we as decent people have to do something.

I say we block this woman from leaving her house and only feed her carrots. It would be like a fat rabbit stuck in its cage. I think we should get Jillian Michaels up there, get her on The Biggest Loser, and kill her in the first week. God I love that show.