"I'm a douchebag."
On Monday, Sandra Bullock was probably still just working on coming down from her post-Oscar-award-winning high… only to have her entire life screwed when she got a call from her publicist. She called to alert Sandra that In Touch would be exposing some very interesting information about her husband, Jesse James, and slut bitch nazi whore, Michelle McGee.
“In Touch magazine had called Sandra’s publicist Monday morning to let her know the magazine was going to print an explosive cover story … saying her husband was cheating,” claims a source. “At first, camp Sandra dismissed the story until they understood that the magazine had the alleged mistress, tattoo model Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee, on the record telling all.”
It only took America’s sweetheart Bullock long enough to pack up some of her things and she was out of there. McGee, on the other hand, has spared Bullock no pain and has just released some very juicy private SEXting messages between herself and James.
"Oh, Jesse... I can't wait to meet your parents!"
Does anybody have a clue as to how Jesse James met this classy little piece of tattooed trash? That’s right folks! He met her on Myspace. Lindsay Sinai, who is Michelle “Bombshell” McGee’s former roommate, is dishing out plenty of disgusting details about James’ affair with his Nazi lover McGee.
“Their relationship was more like a friendship. Nothing was ever said about a future. Once she did realize [Bullock and James] were together, there was a lot of regret there. [McGee] friend-requested Jesse James [on MySpace] and he started writing her out of the blue. [Michelle] was like, ‘Oh my God, Jesse James is writing me. Oh my God, Jesse James is calling me.’ He said he wanted to hang out with her. She ended up driving up to the garage.”
Well, thankfully the Karma police were keeping tabs on James and gave him at least a little bit of his own medicine because his dog Cinnabun went missing all over again after just recently being returned from a month long runaway stint.
We’re not going to lie here James. We were REALLY hoping that either Bullock or McGee had gone all Fatal Attraction on your dumb ass and you were going to come home to find your precious little mutt boiling in a big ol’ pot on the kitchen stove.
Ah, well no such luck… yet. Better luck next time!
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03/19/10 - 9:34 pm
Sandra was and always will be out of his league. What a loser. You made your bed dipshit. Hopefully, you used protection and didn’t give Sandra any of that bitch’s HIV.
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03/19/10 - 4:09 pm
Seriously…this chick looks like Marilyn Manon…shes Fing gross and psycho….I mean dont get me wrong id probably DO her if i was drunk, but she’s Fing ugly as sin with all those stupid ass tattoos and fake ass giant boobies with massive scars, im not saying Id kick her out of bed or anything or say no if she was down, but there is absolutely nothing hot about Nazis or chicks who dress up like them, im not saying i dont want to F her sideways like rigt now… but c’mon now what the hell was Jesse thinking? Hes married to sandra bullock not Roseanne, im not trying to say i wouldnt bang Roseanne and have her children, im just saying that if i had to choose between, Sandra Bullock, this Nazi Whore Id totally go for the Nazi Whore first, get her out of the way, cuz Sandra Bullock would totally be a bigger project and take longer to seal the deal…Jesse did it totally backwards and should have married Nazi Whore first (who actually used to be a quaker or some shit) and then worked on shtupping Sandra Bullock because when Nazi Whore would have found out about the affair would have had to be like, “Yo…Jesse…respect! That chick is hot and just won an Oscar the Grouch award.”
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03/19/10 - 12:25 pm
What really bothered me was reading that Jesse James said the marriage was a sham in order to justify his cheating to one of his other “women”.
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