I really don’t like chain restaurants. The salads are drowning in dressing, everything comes with French fries, and there is enough salt on the plate to drain the Dead Sea. The service always sucks, and yeah, it’s only $20 bucks for dinner and all, but you can do better at home.

Below are my picks for the worst ones and would love for all of you to chime in as well.

Chilis

5. Chili’s. The ribs are dry, the service sucks, and everything is fried in one way or another. I also hate how they open the door for me like I’m going to some swanky nightclub. It’s an f’n Chili’s. Let me open the damn door myself. Also, ever notice everyone that eats there actually looks like Fat Bastard? If there ever was a case of life imitating art, this is it.

Golden Corral

4. Golden Corral. You can order whatever you want and get it for under $10, but how much is your health worth to you? Buffets are a disease center. It’s safer to eat Chinese food using syringes as chopsticks. How often do you really think they change the meat sitting under the hot light? Ever wonder how many days the same pan was used? Buffets are as dirty as those that eat at them.

Ruby Tuesday

3. Ruby Tuesday or Fridays. Both days suck. Similar outfits, color schemes, décor, attitude, and crap food. I love how inept all the servers are at life at either of these places and how clearly intoxicated some of them are. It’s a fun game to play- next time you go to one of these holes, really pay attention and see if your server is drunk. Trust me, he/she is.

Plus these places are global.

Don’t believe me?

Macaroni Grill

2. Romano’s Macaroni Grill. I knew most of you out there were thinking Olive Garden.

F’ you for hating on the O.G! Now, if you want really shitty fake Italian food… go to a Romano’s. Where the servers are forced to write their name on the table. Where everything is covered in cheese and oil to mask the flavors of everything else that sucks. Recently, this company introduced a series of make at home Romano favorites. Watch this amazing cooking show, which is how they make all of their food to begin with.

Applebees

1. Applebee’s. Now there are many contenders for number one, but I really hate Applebee’s. I hate the crap on the walls, I hate the food, which is clearly microwaved. I hate their smug attitudes. I hate how they had an ad campaign with Wanda Sykes.  I guarantee you they don’t even have apples in the kitchen to begin with. Wait, can you fry an apple and cover it in a sugar based sauce and charge 8.99 for it? Watch, I just gave them an idea.

Popularity: 1% [?]