It’s been ten years since I worked for a small cigar store at the local mall. I learned about fine living at a rather young age, drinking bourbon, smoking Cubans, and feeling like a man at 19 years old. There was only one problem with the job- the lotto machine. Yes, for 5 cents on the dollar, you too could have your very own lottery machine at your convenience store. The whole idea is to drive in business, but in actuality, all it really does is drive in the worst drecks of mankind to skeeze their way into your location.
I know what you’re saying. “Hey, don’t hate on me for throwing into the big Jackpot at work, or buying a few scratch offs here and there.” I am not talking to you. I am talking to the gambling degenerates that want to play every possible number, in any possible combination, and hold up the line at the deli for way too long. I just wanted a bagel with some butter and a Yoo-hoo, but NOOOOO. I have to hear about Tim, the waste of space over here, and all his picks for the mid day number drawing:
“UH, yeah, 321, make that a dollar strait, 3 times, on 50 cent tickets, box it for a dollar on one ticket and wheel it for the week, ok, same thing for 456 and 789, now, for the night draw I need all of these… “ (this is when they hand you a notepad of scribble and numbers) “Make them a dollar strait as well, 50 cent tickets.”
The reason they want 50 cent tickets is to avoid having to pay taxes or claim their winnings, because with the lotto if you win more than $500 bucks you owe a little bit of tax on it. These scumbags don’t care about the people behind them, they don’t spend any money on any other item in the store, and just annoy everyone around them. Then they decide to get some scratch offs, but unlike you and me, who buy one… they buy 30 of them, and then proceed to stand and scratch off all their cards on the counter.
One thing I noticed about this group of f*ckwads is that they clearly are not employed. No one would hire these people, they are not hireable. They don’t posses any form of a job skill other than being a degenerate, and not even McDonald’s is looking for that. The only thing they understand is trying to win money through a system that any odds maker would tell you are horrible bets. The “buck and dream” is still possible but for these losers it’s more like 30 bucks and a nightmare.
The only thing I hope for is for that aforementioned idiot to choke on a cloud of scratch off dust and he lives long enough to see that he hit on his 321 bet.
Hopefully I can scample over to his body, pay for my bagel with his winnings, and blow the rest on Cocaine.