Haters Be Hatin'


dyson-fan-pr-1

Just like their vacuums this product SUCKS too.

I’m going to file this under things we never asked for and will never buy.  The Dyson Company, who for the record makes the best f’in vacuum in the world, released their long awaited bladeless fan.  What is it you ask?  A ten to twelve inch round ring like device that is supposedly the future of the fan.  Now, if it works, I guess that it’s cool and all, but, seriously who is this for?

To begin, the device is not called a fan, it is an Air Multiplier.  This is just ridiculous, it kind of reminds me of the old Fig Newton ads.  “It’s not a cookie, it’s a Fig Newton.” I still think it’s just a cookie.  Now, here is where I ask the big question, how the hell can someone possibly multiply air? It’s not like the device will sit in your room and the air will increase by 3x or 4x, that is just impossible.  The air really is being moved from inside the ring to the outside, so technically it should be known as a air mover, or what we already have a fancy term for, a f’in fan.

But a fan isn’t fancy enough, no, not enough at all.  This is such a product for yuppie scumbags.  “Oh darling, don’t you love our air multiplier, I can’t imagine our life back in the dark times of a fan again.”

All of this technology doesn’t come cheap.  $300 bucks.  I have a fan, it’s for the bedroom, and its about double the size of this multiplier crap and it was $29.95.  Now, anyone that is willing to drop $300 on a fan, most likely has central air, or even perhaps a good old room air conditioner.  People that would most likely need to have a fan, sorry, Air Multiplier, could not afford this one.  Did you notice in the video, no one’s hair is blowing around?  You would think for $300 dollars, you could at least get some power.

If I am going to spend $300 bucks on a fan, sorry, really trying here, Air Multiplier, I want to be able to recreate my favorite scenes from Twister.

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4 Responses to “Hate on This: Dyson’s “Air Multiplier””

  1. Mat Houchens

    This is retarded for the money. If it was the same price sure why not but for $300 I could think of plenty of other ways to spend that money… 5 minutes with one of Tiger’s call girls

    [Reply]

    Walker

    @Mat Houchens, 300 bucks with any of those ladies only gets you a meet and greet.

    [Reply]

  2. Morgazm

    Dude?…Dude…anything designed by Miles Bennett Dyson is going to bring about the Apocalypse from the Machines. People should know better. Speaking of which i thought the LA Swat team shot and killed Dyson before the explosion at the plant. I guess Ms. Dyson inherited a pretty pennie and started a gadget company in his name…a petty and unworthy memorial to Miles Dyson’s brief existence. Its a shame, what waste of a brilliant mind…wasted on researching and reinventing the doom machine he already will have invented back before it happened in his presents’ future past…
    However, i do commend your commentary on this mechanical product’s confusing nature of whether it goes suck…or blow. I also wonder her true purpose…a warship to defend an empire or again, another doomsday machine invented by major assholes…

    [Reply]

    LessThanWalker

    @Morgazm, You really think that Dyson is Skynet? or that the thing will lead to Spaceballs? Your insane.

    [Reply]

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