I love Thanksgiving, next to Flag Day and Halloween, it’s one of my favorite holidays, but every year, things happen that just piss me off. Here are the top 5.

The Detroit Lions

5.  The Detroit Lions.  For some awful reason of tradition we are “treated” to watching the Detroit Lions play a football game on national television. The last time they won a Thanksgiving game was in 03, and they are usually the afternoon game. I would like to blame the Lions for why I get so drunk every year.

No football to watch, might as well attack this bottle of Knob Creek and laugh at the offense.

Crappy Wine

4.  Crappy Wine.  This happens all the time, and no one fesses up to it. You worked your ass off on this Thanksgiving meal and the best this person brought to the festivities is a White Zinfandel in a box.

Thanks, but I think will just use this to mop the floor with later. Or send it home with my drunk aunt and hope she regrets her dreadful hangover tomorrow. Which leads me to the next thing I hate about Thanksgiving.

Your Drunk Aunt

3.  “Your Drunk Aunt said WHAT!” This happens more than we like to see, but it’s a 100% guarantee. Your Aunt is there, she is drinking, and she is going to say some SH*T. She don’t care, she ain’t driving and you will listen to what needs to be said. Sure, your Great Uncle, who has been dead for 45 years, turned out to be a Nazi, but what does that have to do with the Lion game?

Cheap Desserts

2.  Cheap Desserts. Bless their hearts for caring, but if ya can’t cook, then don’t. I don’t care if you don’t know how to actually make something with fresh ingredients but don’t show up to my house with dessert that turns out to be the McDonald’s apple pies.

Have some class, if you are going to bring me a dessert from a fast food place… get crazy, and get that weird apple crumb thing from KFC.

Leftover Containers

1.  Leftover containers- or lack thereof. You want to take home leftovers and you brought nothing to take them home with you in. Now, maybe I’m just getting a little crudgy here, but I’m sick of giving away all my Ziploc containers because you really loved the stuffing.  I mean, sh*t, I’m thankful for everyone coming over and enjoying my cooking, but I’m thankful for my Tupperware too.

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