October is my favorite month thanks to Halloween, the World Series, and Football. But this time of the year also brings about a class of individual that I really could do without- The Fake Sports Fan.
These people always seem to stumble out of their cells about now, especially during the baseball playoffs, and every given Sunday. They want to be social, they want to feel a part of something. That’s nice. Speaking for the general sport loving public… please STAY HOME!
F you POSERS!!!
These people are very easy to pick out and I absolutely loathe them. The first indicator is a fresh hat. If the hat looks like it was just picked up that afternoon most likely you are dealing with a fair-weather. They also never know things that, to me, are very basic rules of the game. For example, the second out occurs and this person thinks it’s the end of the inning. They think Mark Teixeira’s first name is Monk, that a web gem is the diamond Spider Man gave to Mary Jane, and they never know what’s going on! You ask the guy what just happened, and it follows as “The guy hit it and the other guy caught it.” Thanks, you should replace John Kruk on Baseball Tonight.
Another issue I have… just because you are from a particular area does not make you a fan of that team. I have seen this numerous times, especially people from Boston. I’ll watch a Yankee and Sox game and some guy will be cheering for the Sox simply because he is from Boston. He has no idea who is on the team but he is clapping along anyway like an idiot. I know the Red Sox line up very well and when you cannot name three players on the team you are clapping for… you are not a fan!
Keepin' it real Bitches!!
The greatest examples of the fake fan are celebrities. Now there are a few exceptions to the rule, well, actually only two: Jack Nicholson and Spike Lee. Those two are as die-hard as they come. Spike Lee was ready to fight Reggie Miller and Jack Nicholson refused to wear a Red Sox hat while filming The Departed. The rest can please stay in their mansions- with their fresh hats, brand new jerseys that still have the official merchandise tags, while sipping on some Mimosas from the downstairs bar. These people are the holy grail of the fair weather fan.
Just once I want to see a bat fly into the stands and force some movie or show to be re-cast.
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11/04/09 - 1:58 pm
Holy S the “Frontrunners” as we used to call them in middle school. Suddenly the Yankees are playing in game 6 of the world series and theres not a single seat to be had at the quiet bar weve been going to watch games all year long.
The WORST are the “Just a Baseball Fan” people who are Mets fans all year long, but suddenly are rooting for the Yankees in the playoffs…”Im really just a Baseball fan.” Go F, you sold out on your team. You stand by your team through thick and thin you dont cheer for anyone else. When the Sox played the cardinals a few years back…i didnt root for the cardinals…i certainly didnt root for the Red Sox…i was just hoping the Red Sox would LOSE…that’s it.
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11/04/09 - 5:43 pm
GO YANKEES!!!!
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11/04/09 - 1:01 pm
I heard a couple of these goobers at the gym after game 1 of the World Series. After hearing them intently discuss the previous night’s game for a couple minutes, I heard this self-proclaimed Yankee fan ask the other, “How many games does a team need to win to win the championship… 6?” Then the other guy responded, “No, best of 5.” DIE POSERS!!!!!
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11/04/09 - 3:40 pm
Z man, I thank you for not reacting like I would have. Two dead guys at the gym is hard to walk away from.
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