Coming soon to a Garage Sale near you!

See that plastic guitar collecting dust in the corner of the living room.  Yeah, that one, it’s right next to the fake drum set, the folded up one, because you now own the new drum set with cymbals, so the old four pad model is already outdated.  The microphone went missing months ago, and you never invested for another guitar simply because no one ever wants to play bass.  Now thanks to those geniuses over at the guitar hero empire they have now decided that you need a new toy you are not going to play with in a few months.

That’s right boys and girls, now we have DJ Hero, the latest attempt by the gaming companies to make you plop down another $100 bucks on a video game.  DJ hero finally proves the point that I’ve been trying to make for years- that DJ’s have no real talent to begin with.

I wonder if you have to wear headphones on your head while you play the game as well.  I understand why they did this, not everyone likes rock music, but a whole turntable set seems like a bit much.  The whole idea is three buttons, a mix switch, and being able to scratch away.  It’s all plastic and most likely made by Korean children and will possibly be the most wanted game this Christmas.  What’s next? Violin Hero? Play some Itzhak Perlman on expert or how about Banjo Hero and show those dudes from Deliverance who’s the boss.

You know what I can’t wait for?  Rave parties controlled by a video game.  Some loser inviting a few of his friends over, they pop some X and blast the night away.  Glow sticks everywhere, Newport cigarettes and Winterfresh wrappers all over the floor.  I wonder if this lifestyle is relayed in the game?  In the Guitar Hero universe they show this fake band making it from the garage to the big time.  I wonder if DJ Hero really shows what it is like…  You start as a drug dealer in Detroit, and play all night parties, and later  die of a drug overdose right before your MTV show about addiction airs.

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