Just when you think Fox’s Family Guy is going downhill with all of the star guest appearances and decreasingly funny side gags etc., they go and do something like they did last night….. and TOTALLY REDEEM THEMSELVES.

Liberal Douche?

Let me preface this by saying that I love Family Guy and think its humor is very smart even though it seems stupid. The one thing that “Grinds my Gears” so bad about Family Guy is not the irrelevant side gags, the stupid way that the story lines never makes sense, or the way that they have been known to almost verbatim copy the Simpson’s story ideas. The thing that really pisses me off, is their preachy, “I know better than you” agenda that they try to push off on everyone. It is almost the same formula every time. Lois doesn’t think something is right, be it gay marriage, legalizing pot, or the existence of God. Brian, being a liberal douche, explains how stupid everyone is who doesn’t agree with him. He then shows, through a situation that Lois can relate to, why she and her point of view are also stupid and then she comes around to see how ignorant she has been and abandons her point of view. The one that pissed me off the most was where Meg believed in God and was born again. Kevin over at Dean’s World explained this perfectly:

See, according to Family Guy, sincere Christians are literally stone-throwing, book burning, irrational fanatics. I’m not engaging in hyperbole here. When the town found out that Brian was an atheist (because Meg felt it her Christianity duty to tell them) the news compared him to Hitler, banned him from various stores, and literally tried to stone him.

"See, It's different when I stereotype people."

Later, Brian confronts Meg outside a church where she and its members are engaging in a jolly book burning, destroying the works of Darwin, Steven Hawking, and a tome titled, First Grade Logic. Brian turns Meg away from her faith by pointing out, essentially, that if God were loving He’d have made her attractive and not placed her in a home where she’s as mistreated as she is.

That is how it ends. Everyone learned their lesson on how stupid, ignorant, and intolerant Christians are and Meg reconsiders her religious views. I know its just a cartoon, but I really love the show and it really pisses me off that they talk down to the audience so much and don’t ever really throw a bone to the other side.

So on last night’s show,  ”Jerome is the new Black,” Peter tells Brian that he can’t be their fourth friend because Quagmire HATES him. Brian takes the entire episode to try and befriend Quagmire and find out the source of his animosity. At dinner, after constant prodding about what Quagmire’s problem is, Quagmire lets him have it in this awesome rant, that pretty much sums up everything I have ever thought about the situation. It was so dead on and perfect, it makes me feel thatSeth MacFarlane realizes what a dick he is and what a dick he has made Brian sound like. Watch the rant in the video is below.

Full Text is after the jump

Q: You want to maybe just go?

B: Quagmire, come one. I’m really trying hard here.

Q: Who asked you to try hard?

B: Nobody. But all — I’m trying to establish a friendship with you. All I’ve done is try to be nice to you and you still don’t like me. How can you not like me?

Q: Okay. I’ll tell you.

You are the worst person I know.
You constantly hit on your best friend’s wife.
The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him?
And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard.
And you’re such a sponge.
You pay for nothing.
You always say, “Ooh, I’ll get you later.” but later never comes.
And what really bothers me, is you pretend you’re this deep guy who loves women for their souls when all you do is date bimbos.
Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I’m honest about it.
I don’t buy them a copy of “Catcher in the Rye” and then lecture them with some seventh grade interpretation of How Houlden Caulfield is some Profound Intellectual.
He Wasn’t!
He was a spoiled brat!
And that’s why you like him so much — HE’S ·YOU·.
GAWD YOU’RE PRETENTIOUS!
And you delude yourself by thinking you’re some great writer … even though you’re terrible.
You know I should have known Cheryl Tiegs didn’t write me that note.
She would have known there’s no “A” in the word “definite.”
And, I think what I hate most about you … is your textbook liberal agenda.
How we should “Legalize Pot … Man.”
How Big Business is Crushing the Underclass.
How homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America.
Well, what have you done to help?
I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian.
NEVER SEEN YOU DOWN THERE.
You want to help?
GRAB A LADLE!
And, by the way, driving a Prius doesn’t make you Jesus Christ.
Oh, Wait!
You don’t believe in Jesus Christ.
Or any religion for that matter.
Because “Religion Is For Idiots.”
Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone?
You failed college twice.
Which isn’t nearly as bad as your failure as a father.
How’s that son of yours you never see?
But you know what?
I could forgive all of that.
All of it.
…if you weren’t such a bore.
That’s the worst of it, Brian.
You’re just a big, sad, alcoholic bore.
(exhales)
I’ll see you, Brian. Thanks for the f*cking steak.

Text from http://vnboards.ign.com/ac_friends/b5258/112132507/p1/

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