Let’s face it, our modern era is lacking badasses. With figures like Tom Brady and Derek Jeter defining our time’s masculinity, it should come as no surprise that there are very few badasses left in our society. Really, comedy blog writers are the only badasses left, and they’re a dying breed.
Enter Colton Harris-Moore: a modern day bad ass.
The Man, The Myth, The Fugitive (Props to the AP)
‘Colt’ is an 18 year old bamf who has been wreaking havoc in Western Washington state. Colt has already been tagged as a modern day Huckleberry Finn, or a modern Jesse James (without the murders), or even as living out the movie Catch Me If You Can. Whatever comparison you may want to draw, Colt has racked up a laundry list of crimes that would even make Niko Bellic blush.
Colt’s story is typical of young criminals: He grew up the son of a single mother in a very poor trailer park, and began compiling an extensive criminal record at the age of 11. Since then Colt has been credited with over fifty burglaries and thefts which include two boats and three small aircraft. Now, to be clear, we are not trying to condone the actions of Colton Harris-Moore. He’s a criminal.
But he is also a badass.
Authorities believe that Colt used a stolen credit card to purchase a flight manual, which they then believe he used to teach himself the basics of aviation. However, it is obvious to the police that Colt is far from a professional pilot. In all three instances in which they believe he stole aircraft, the airplanes were found with damage that points to a rather harsh landing, which is of course characteristic of someone with no formal aviation training.
Colt escaped a minimum security juvenile facility a couple years back, and has not been captured sense. Police say that a majority of Colt’s thefts are not for valuables or money, but instead he steals tools and supplies to fuel his life on the run. It seems to us, that Colt is living out the life of a Grand Theft Auto character, stealing a bunch of awesome shit (see airplanes) and then using some sort of real life voodoo cheat code to evade authorities. Equally as baffling, is the fact that authorities can’t catch the 6 foot 5 inch teenager. Whatever the circumstances are surrounding this young man’s fate, there is one thing for certain: he is a badass.
Popularity: 1% [?]
10/16/09 - 11:34 am
I like this kid. A lot.
[Reply]
10/16/09 - 11:21 am
I can’t wait for the day that some Florida redneck blows that smirk off the kid’s face with a shotgun. Sooner or later that dipshit is going to go into the wrong house and regret it. We’ll see what a hero he is with one half his jaw missing and the other half dangling by a thread. He won’t be so hard to find then will he? “Yes officer, he did kind of look like Skellitor, except uglier.”
[Reply]
10/16/09 - 1:01 am
Hey, I salute him for being a badass. Think if more kids shared his ambition, granted his ambition is illegal. None the less, kids are pussies these days.
Leave your Xbox and learn some real life badass techniques. Like stealing planes, thats tuff…
[Reply]
10/16/09 - 1:11 pm
This is one of those situations where you’ve got a really smart, ambitious and talented person doing all the wrong things with his smarts…
Kind of like Hitler. Imagine if Hitler had use all his mojo for something positive besides genocide and world domination. Imagine what he might have achieved. I think ze Germans would have colonized Mars by now. And those uniforms! Holy S the Nazi S.S. had the greatest military uniforms of all time! Such a shame…
At least this kid is being self destructive instead of blowing away high school classmates…there’s a positive for ya. Too bad he’s still gonna get blown away by a SWAT Team the first time he screws up.
If he starts stealing from the rich and giving to the poor then he’s my new hero.
[Reply]