Excuse Me Doctor! How Much For Some Vaginoplasty?

Thanks to being a hater, I’m reading and watching news stories I never cared to bother myself with. A prime example of this is the story of Octomom. I had heard of Octomom, Nadia Solemn, like the rest of you. However, I never really paid much attention to her before now. She’s some crazy bitch that decided to have 8 kids, who was unemployed, and had artificial insemination. I was finally privy to seeing her full blown 2 hour FOX special on the mother… of 14! I immediately said, “Whoa, I thought it was 8.” No, she had 6 more kids from previous births!!

This woman must be stopped at any cost. She is delusional and has no right having one child let alone fourteen. I think she really belongs on the A&E show Obsessed, considering I think she is the exceptional case of being the only woman on the planet who physically enjoys giving birth. How is this even possible? How can anyone get artificially inseminated without a stable job or housing? Can others do this? Will this become a fad? Will people start becoming obsessed with trying to out birth each other? Will Denny’s have a promo, “The 15th kid eats for free!”

The entire documentary showcases her first three or four months at home with the babies and the already forgotten first six children. Octomom’s mother, who could have the done the entire world a favor at the moment of Nadia’s conception by aborting, clearly shows hatred for her daughter. Good. This made watching this human Hindenburg disaster all the more pleasurable. Everyone seems to hate her… including her kids.

One of her sons, 2-year-old Caleb, punches her in the face and calls her a bitch. I could watch that moment over and over again. It’s clear that the older the children get the more they hate her. I hope one of them pulls a Menendez on her at some point. My money is on that little angel Caleb. That little guy might wind up being the youngest matricides ever. Hopefully the mother will help hide the evidence to keep her grandson from going to prison at 8.

She also must have an obsession with looking like Angelina Jolie. She says it’s not true, that she did nothing to her lips. Please will the rest of her children please start punching her in the face so she’ll need to get more plastic surgery to fix her fug face! Apparently, she also has an obsession with ghosts! She believes that her mother’s house, which she refers to as HER house, is haunted. She says she walks by certain rooms in the house and swears she hears “something” that she can’t explain. Could it possibly be one of your 14 freaking children begging for attention? Choking to death on a cheerio??? Or better yet, plotting their escape!

Hopefully, her obsessions stop here! God forbid she develops an obsession with dating next! Could you imagine her E-harmony account?

Username: Octolove.

About me: I love Angelina Jolie movies, ghost hunting, changing 34,324,543 diapers a day, and I have an addiction to C-sections and possess a vagina more stretched out than Elizabeth Taylor’s face.

Looking for: a baby daddy!

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