The ONLY football fantasy real men should be having.
Have you ever heard anyone speak like this, “So in this league I’m starting Payton Manning and my defense will be the Ravens. Last week I did alright but I wanted to switch my receiver from Terrell Owens to someone else. I have 3 other leagues running as well- one with the people I work with, one on ESPN.com, and one league I’m playing in I’ve made up a fake identity to play as two different people.”
I don’t know about you but I can not stand this crap called “Fantasy Football.” Full grown men involved in speaking about fantasies involving other men. Does this strike anyone else as a little strange? How is this cool? How is this not gay? How is this allowed when the “Star Trek” and “Lord of the Rings” people get together at conventions and they are mocked by society?
But yet when former jocks talk about what “men they want to have” and “what men they would die to have”… it is perfectly acceptable. They want men so badly that they’ll get together and have a draft… a fantasy draft. How are girlfriends and wives in the world not the least bit concerned about this sh*t?
"I know I cheated on my wife but please let my running back gets 3 touchdowns this week!"
Now I love football. It’s a great game. But when I watch Sport Center and they introduce the Fantasy analyst guy it makes me a little uncomfortable. That’s right- ESPN hires some guy that is paid a hell of a lot more than you or me to analyze this crap. His sole job is to analyze other men in order to tell other guys that these are the men they should go “out and get.” Doesn’t this fantasy analysis guy sound more like a gay pimp than a football analyst?
Also, these out of control Fantasy players are turning our sports bars into your everyday Starbucks. Now whenever you go to the bar to watch the game all you see are losers hunched over with their Macbooks open at the bar!! This is all so they can follow all 5 leagues at once that they are currently losing in. Whatever happened to just eating wings like an animal and cheering for your team? What happened to pounding beers until you puke and yelling, “you suck” at the other team’s fans?
No, those days are over. Those days of behaving like real men are over. Now we’re all just obsessed with the individuals of the sport. Nyah, I don’t know, I missed the boat on this junk.
Now excuse me. It’s Friday night and I’ve got a “Dungeons and Dragons” game to get to.
Popularity: 40% [?]
09/21/09 - 9:26 pm
Bro, you talking about fantasy football is like a virgin talking about how to please a woman. You both have no idea. Uh, I think I want to switch receivers this week… what the hell? Speaking from the level of understanding that you have of fantasy football is like saying that wine sucks after trying Boones Farm with a menthol Camel. Learn the game, respect the game, take home a cool $1,000 from your buddies with bragging rights for the off season, and then post some shit that makes sense!
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09/21/09 - 11:25 am
@Joho930, yeah I bet you took $1,000 from your buddies for fulfilling their fantasy’s with a football and a whole lotta vegetable oil. Fantasy football blows.
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09/21/09 - 9:54 pm
@Joho930, He can’t help it if you’re gay.
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09/21/09 - 10:29 pm
I normally enjoy your rants, but you definitely “dropped the ball” on this one. Not only does fantasy football help you keep up with players on other teams (other than your favorite team), but it’s also gives you a chance to win some money. I guarantee I know more about the game of football than you do… and that has a lot do with the fact that I play FF. Because of FF I know that Nnamdi Asomugha is one of the best corners in the game, and that any WR I have going up against him is probably gonna get shut down. Any clue who he is buddy? The fact that you compared fantasy football to Star Trek, in and of itself, proves to me that you have no idea what you’re talking about! Do your homework… play the game… then you can hate!
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09/21/09 - 11:28 pm
@Z-Man, i have to say, only a retard would argue such a rediculous point. first off, fantasy football is the dumbest thing possible, because you football people couldnt wait one more thanking week. get a life dude. eat my dick!!!!!!!!
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09/21/09 - 12:10 am
@Z-Man, What happened to you?? You bust your knee senior year of high school so you couldn’t play in college? Fantasy football is GAY. Get off your ass and go throw a football if you want to “play” so much!
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09/21/09 - 11:49 pm
ignorance! get off your fat asses and play the game yourself if you are gonna do this fantasy football bull.
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09/21/09 - 12:12 am
My little brother plays fantasy football. I wish he’d get off of his dead stoner ass and go get a thanking job. Or take a bath. Or anything really. Him and his friends are total wannabe losers. I have no respect for losers that play this shit.
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09/21/09 - 8:26 am
Wow, I thought this site was cool, but apparently it is just for stupid, anonymous losers who like throwing around words like “gay” and “eat my dick.” Hmmm…. a little homophobic, or maybe just embarrassed that you are gay?
Who says you can’t play both Fantasy and real football? I play FF and work out or play sports 6 days a week. Try having an intelligent discussion for once in your pathetic lives. And Markey, just so you know, ridiculous is spelled with and “I” you MORON!
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09/21/09 - 11:35 am
Shit about Fantasy football I be Hatin’:
1) Fantasy Drafts that take hours and get scheduled at 9am on a Tuesday morning.
2) Having to Draft players you hate just because their good, such as T.O. or Tom Brady and actually picking them for your team. “You gotta respect the guy, he’s one of da best of all time.” Bullshit. If I had a Hall of Fame vote, I’d pass on T.O. and Tom Brady and vote for David Meggett and Mark Ingram over those 2 in a heart beat.
3) Watching meaningless games where the outcome doesn’t matter. Who the hell watches a sports intently when you don’t care about, or don’t like teams playing. “Oh well I’m a football fan, I can watch any game.” Bullshit…I love football a whole lot, but if the Giants aren’t playing, I won’t waste my time having the game on in the background I have too much Xbox and Battlestar Galactica to catch up on.
4) And the Absolute WORST of all. People who dish out hundreds of dollars on football tickets, spend their entire week obsessing about the upcoming game, get hyped up all week listening to Boomer and Carton in the Morning, tweaking your Fantasy Team up to the deadline and your favorite Football team gets SPANKED on Sunday by the Raiders….then you say…”Oh well at least my fantasy team did well!”
Bunch of losers.
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09/21/09 - 3:15 am
U know what? U are so dead on its incredible. all these losers trying to defend fantasy football lost sight of what the game is about. It took me a few years to develop this opinion so listen up fantasy jerkoff. im under 30, and love computers and such so im not some old grumpy purist. so with that said, heres how i see it.
Me and my friend watch football every sunday. we travel around, pick friendly fights with cowboy fans, and just enjoy the big game thats on. we love football, and we know our players. well, i took a couple weeks to watch with another friend because work happened for my normal football buddy. this other friend is a fantasy guy. so we went to the bar a few times and he needs like 10 games on, his head is on a swivle watching every game, when i talk junk with others he stares at me funny, and he cares about his fantasy gay team more than his own favorite teams!
I kept an open mind until i got back with my best bud to watch games again. he said the same things guys, and we are right.
ILL NEVER GO TO THE BAR OR ANY FOOTBALL PARTY WITH FANTASY GUY AGAIN. ITS LAME, GIRLS HATE IT, AND PEOPLE SECRETLY HATE U FOR IT. so do that shit in private. dont ruin a game for a true fan.
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09/21/09 - 4:47 am
The lady doth protest too much
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