ABC has decided to add some testicles to their nightly programming.

Chuck Liddell will bust a move

The new line-up for the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars has been announced and along with the typical rag tag group of D-list celebrities, a shot of testosterone has been thrown in the mix with the addition of two manly celebs:  Kelly Osbourne and Chuck Liddell.

That’s right, the Mohawk donning, haymaker throwing, skank fisting son of a bitch: Chuck Liddell.  Although we just as easily could have been describing Osbourne, right?

Kelly Osbourne’s butchiness and skank fisting aside, we will be the first to admit that these additions are somewhat intriguing.  But as exciting as they may seem; it is still Dancing with the Stars. You know, the show that guys suffer through only so their girlfriends will blow them later in the night, yeah it’s that show.  And just throwing Chuck Liddell onto it isn’t going to change it from being the prologue to the blowski.

That’s why we are going to propose a few changes to make Dancing with the Stars a little more guy friendly:

1.  More wardrobe malfunctions.  Yes, the bedazzled outfits worn by the lady dancers are awesome.  But the potential to see some tit or ass cheek will surely make guys want to tune it.  It’s just like Field of Dreams: You build it, they will come.  But, you don’t even have to building anything.  Just show us tits.

2.  No more judges with British accents.  Let’s be serious, no one likes the British.  Aside from Kate Beckinsale they are basically useless.  On top of that, the British judge’s accent is so pretentious and snooty it makes watching the show that much less enjoyable.

3.  Break Dancing.  There has never been an occasion in which break dancing did not improve the overall experience of whatever was being done.  No one has ever regretted wasting their time to watch someone break dance.  And break dancing affords the possibility that something could go horribly wrong, which always makes for good television.

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