Brett Favre's 2nd Annual Retirement
This is an open call to all players in the NFL.
Will someone please end this? Seriously, someone Joe Theisman the dude’s leg and end this crap. I want a broken arm. I want a snapped ankle joint. I don’t want him in a wheelchair for life. But just get Brett Favre off Sportscenter.
Call me a cynic, but I am tired of the twenty four hour Brett Favre news alerts. I don’t care if the man has come out of retirement to initiate the rapture, or if he’s banging his wife bareback in a Denny’s parking lot. I don’t want to hear about it. Just this week, Favre announced that he would un-retire yet again and the sports media has yet to be removed from the man’s anus.
In all seriousness though, I feel as if I have to go blow a homeless man just to find out the score of the Phillies game. And I don’t even like the Phillies. But I can’t find out the score of their games, because all ESPN can inform me of is that Brett Favre wiped another dude’s ass. It is outrageous.
Where Favre goes from here remains to be seen, but it’s fair to expect that the sports media will be covering it. If I had my way, there would be no question as to whether Favre would return next year. I want the season to end and the question to sound something like this:
“So Jim, do you think that Favre will return for next season? Well Bob, unless they figure out how to re-attach his throwing arm. I’m going to take a wild guess and say no.”
I know it sounds malicious, but I have nothing but ill will towards Brett Favre. I hope that his children get beat up by other children. I hope his Quarterback rating hits negative numbers. I hope the citizens of Green Bay start burning his jerseys. I hope his wife leaves him because of his addiction to football. I hope he throws nothing but interceptions. And I hope he ruins your fantasy football team.
Popularity: 1% [?]
08/20/09 - 10:57 am
come on….he models jerseys well, he’s handsome, he’s full of himself, he’s rich, what more could you want?
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08/20/09 - 11:39 am
I’m sick of Favre. I bet John Madden jizzed his pants when he heard this.
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08/20/09 - 12:01 pm
This guy is a dick and needs to suck it up and realize his career is over. He sucks.
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08/20/09 - 12:43 pm
How fitting… Brett finally shows his true colors… Donning the purple jersey only reassures me that he is in fact. A flaming homosexual.
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08/20/09 - 2:33 pm
AGREED.
Brett Favre coming back is like Michael Jackson doing a farewell tour i.e. I thought he was gone for good. Furthermore Faver, like MJ, is cutting off his nose to spite his face just to get back at Green Bay.
Now.
Check out the Vikings’ schedule. They play the Giants in Minnesota last week of the season. WHICH MEANS! Favre’s “Last Career Pass” will go back to being an interception to a NY Giant.
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08/20/09 - 4:08 pm
love the end. i too am sick of all this Favre nonsense, they talk about Favre when they’re talkign about the ATP Tennis Classic. it’s gotta stop. as stephen colbert put it “Congratulations Brett Favre, for setting the NFL record for most incomplete retirements”.
he’s a greedy pig and i hope Nick Barnett knocks him out of the season. if he doesn’t, and he makes it to Week 16, the New York Football Giants will end his career. Again. Baby
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08/20/09 - 1:04 am
For real, why are the Vikings purple?
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08/20/09 - 11:11 am
[...] you thought Bret Favre coming out of retirement for the umpteenth time was weird—which it [...]