Travolta Revolted!

Sippin' on Some Syzurp

Angered that Quentin Tarantino didn’t choose him for a role in “Inglorious Basterds,” pudgy actor John Travolta had time on his hands to invent “Felato;” a cool Italian cream that celebrates his two loves: food and oral sex.

John notes, “Felato’s made from special cream I made myself.  For those who swallow my cream in one gulp, not only do they get a nice treat, but a three picture deal from me!”

Britney Spears Reveals…

Musical Dystrophy

After appearing on “David Letterman Show” to show off her body, Britney Spears then announced the reason for her catatonic appearance on 2007’s MTV Video Music Awards: she is inflicted with “Musical Dystrophy.”

This is a disease “strippers and singers who act like strippers catch from inhaling metal particles from worn stripper poles.  ‘M.D.’ renders the inflicted with little rhythm or movement and is prevalent in the Caucasian community—especially in the “Jonas Brothers.”

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